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Ep. 125 – Leave it at the Door, Nurse

You’ll die trying contain sensitive subject matter and conversation surrounding death and dying and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is respectfully advised.

00:35

We pivot, and we pivot, and we pivot, and we pivot. Welcome back to season two, Episode 124. Five, I don’t even know today has been a day, a day that will live in infamy in the worst possible way. I triple booked myself. Yeah, I don’t know how to keep heads or tails of anything, and I catch myself coming and going non stop. It doesn’t matter. Just, I don’t know, calendars don’t work. I wish, I wish, I wish they did. On a good note, however, I was sitting in I was thinking, because we had just launched, you’ll die trying.com in the shop, which you need to go and check out and I was thinking how in which we can give back because that is what I am a we are about here at Morris family and in our lives, we are constantly wanting to give of ourselves. And I was thinking of a local charity or a local organization such as hospice, which we will get into. But that’s local. And I we will continue to give locally, but what can we nationally give to because there are so many of you listeners who are not here but are across the globe. And I think it only fitting based upon what has recently transpired in the loss of someone or some ones. Let’s be honest over the past few years by suicide that we concentrate our efforts on that meaning for 100% of proceeds received from the you’ll die trying shop where you can get mugs and sweatshirts, T shirts and of course, big turkey foot coffee, the exclusive partner of you’ll die trying. That’s where the proceeds are going to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 100% of proceeds for the entire month of February will go to them to support their efforts. Did you know that if you are hard of hearing Did you know if you are a veteran Did you know if you only speak Spanish that there are men and women who are readily available 24 hours a day to assist you in your most delicate and difficult of times. Maybe you didn’t but you know. Now, it is important to know that you are not forgotten. It is important for you to know that there are people who to suffer, to not be ashamed and to reach out and ask for help and not let pride get in the way. So please visit you’ll die trying.com visit the shop purchase a mug because 100% of those proceeds will go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline follow me Nathan at Nathan Morris on Instagram and at you’ll die trying podcast on Instagram and I am also on Tik Tok atpage1image3200629264page2image3167551536page2image3167551840

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Nathan Morris music because on Tik Tok that is where I will share music and other items. Welcome eff to the party eff proud sponsors of the you’ll die trying podcast eff or express funeral funding. What they do is they assist families in applying proceeds from an insurance and assigning that to cover the funeral expense long before the insurance is even officially filed and the insurance company pays out. It alleviates the balance due from looming over the heads of families that allows for the funeral homes themselves to receive payments so that they can continuously provide the exceptional care that they are known for. And also there is a Beautiful thing called family pay. Family pay is if a funeral costs $13,000. And there is a $15,000 policy that is $2,000 available. And let’s say you have family spread across the globe who need to get here? Well, you can have that money advanced so that the family who is left grieving is not out of pocket and stressed even further.

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EFF allows for things to be taken care of on the back end, so that the funeral home can work tirelessly and diligently to take care of the family on the front end, the most important end visit Express funeral funding.com To learn more about what they offered the families including family pay now. All right, season two episode 124 of you’ll die trying a show which pulls back the curtain takes down these walls these heavy walls brick by brick and exposes the true hearts hopefully of those who are caring for those that in which you love most. Let’s talk hospice.

Youâ€TMll DieTrying 06:35

As always, ladies and gentlemen, this episode of you’ll die trying especially this segment death over decaf, brought to you by big turkeyfoot coffee go over to that training.com/shop Get your big ol bag of it. Could you pound those beans and get your mug to put the beans that are roasted and then brewed into I have the pleasure as you can see. lovely lady by the name of Julie who if you heard me talking earlier, social media is incredible. It’s incredible how people can connect literally from across the United States of America. This is Julie you can probably seen her on Tik Tok. Like a lot. I actually was speaking to someone today, who is our first impressions and I said hey, I get to talk to Julie. She’s, you know, a hospice nurse on Tik Tok. She’s like, Oh my gosh, I watch her. So Julie, you have a fan in McAllen on Tik Tok? Is that not awesome? That is incredible. It’s always so weird to hear stuff like that. I’ll take it. Well, I was walking out the back door with her and I was telling her how excited I was. Because I was just flipping through Instagram today and the state of Kentucky came down the state of Kentucky board of funeral directors and embalmers came down on this influencer, who has made a name for herself in Lexington, Kentucky with some really cool posts on Instagram. And they have been monitoring hers, which are always tasteful and said, hey, you need to stop it. And so all these commenters are like, Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that you’re being essentially suppressed to a degree and opening this door and removing you know, this wall so to speak and letting people in. So I have to ask you, first and foremost, what’s it been like for you as someone in the profession that you are in a hospice nurse to say Hey, ladies, gentlemen, please don’t be fearful of welcoming those who I serve alongside and myself into your home to care for you. Well, have you had any pushback? Hey, no, luckily, no, not really.

Nurse Julie 08:39
I get a few and some of my like really viral videos, I’ll get some people who I think are really

I get a few and some of my like really viral videos, I’ll get some people who I think are reallypage3image3206372320

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just trying to stir the pot by saying things you know, like you actually murder people for money. But very very few and far between for the most part, I I don’t catch a lot of heat. I did have to eventually tell the place I worked and they were okay with it too and had to check out all my stuff and make sure I wasn’t doing anything against HIPAA regulations and you know, not putting them in any kind of hot water either. And it’s been luckily all good on my end. That’s very interesting. I was thinking there’s this video I want all of our listeners to check out and obviously we’ll share your your tick tock but I was watching one in particular and this is I’ll tell you all, I was watching. I was just in it the rabbit hole proverbial rabbit hole just watching all of your videos and there was one and you’re talking about sitting in front of this residence of this loved one you’re caring for and you knew they died. And I cannot. I cannot tell the story and share the story as well as you and I would love for you to do that. And tell me that story once again. The one that I’m referring to that just got me hooked and this was the one that actually got me to say hey, I want

Youâ€TMll DieTrying 10:00
to talk to you, I want you to share more about why you doing what you do on this podcast. Do

you mind to share what that story is?

Nurse Julie 10:09

No, of course not. It is. So just for people who don’t know, my page, you know, I started out being strictly, you know, facts and science based on just people learning about death and dying on a, on a biological level, because I think it’s really fascinating. And I think most people would, once they learned what I learned, they would think it’s fascinating too. And on top of that, there is an extra layer of things that I’ve experienced as a hospice nurse. And as an ICU nurse, that had been a little more I guess, we could say, like, mystical or

Youâ€TMll DieTrying 10:47
what would be the word? You called in like you call it? I call it like Isley.

Nurse Julie 10:55

You Yeah, it was like things that I the unexplainable, right? The things I can’t explain that I’ve happened that have made me that have shipped, it meant I’ve shifted the way I’ve, I think now about death, and what happens to us after we die. And one of those things is the story you’re referring to about one of my very, very favorite patients. And he died, you know, years ago. But it was so profound to me, because we were really, we were really close him and I and the whole hospice team, not just not just me. And he had lived a lot longer than we thought he would and, and he was young guy, and didn’t have much family didn’t have very many friends had a really hard go at life. And for some for whatever reason, when he learned he was going to die. He was willing to change a lot of his the ways he was living. And we and he let us help him do that. So we became really close with him because we we just did so much for this guy. So my whole reason of saying all this is that we became really close closer than normal. And I feel like him and I had a lot of philosophical conversations and like real conversations at his house aboutpage3image3213040512

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what it would be like to die and what he feels, you know, what he’s worried about? Is he scared is he not? And anyway, so when once he was getting really close to death, what we call the actively dying phase, where you have like, usually hours to maybe a few days to live. He needed a continuous care nurse there to be with him 24 hours a day because he had some terminal agitation and different things going on. But I was the nurse that would still go in and check every day. And the last day he was alive, I went to go check on him and my nurse that was in there. And I could tell he was going to die very soon, probably that day. And you know, in my head, I said my goodbyes to him. And then I went back to my car. And I was sort of just sitting in my car waiting to go to the next patient’s house. And I wasn’t super sad. I was just sort of thinking about him a lot. And like really hoping that he was getting everything he ever wished for you know, and that everything was going to be fine for him. And I hope he had a good peaceful death. And as I was doing this in my car, I suddenly heard his voice in my head. And this doesn’t happen to me. Like ever, never. This is not a normal thing that happens. So I heard his voice in my head. And and I could feel basically I suddenly was feeling like this overall, this overwhelming feeling of like freedom. And the best way I could describe it as like, exuberance like just pure joy, freedom, an overwhelming feeling of like joy and happiness and like kind of like flying. And I can hear his voice in my head. And all he was doing was he was almost taken back. His voice was like excited and shocked and was beginning he was going oh my gosh, Julie. Oh my gosh. And he was saying my name. I could hear my name. Oh my gosh, Julie, I can’t believe this is the way it is. This is better than I ever could have imagined. This is better than I ever could imagine. He is kept saying that over and over again. And I kind of had this sensation like he was going somewhere like almost like flying. It’s hard to describe in human words, really. So it’s hard for me to fully describe it. But he just over and over again just kept telling me how wonderful everything was. And if you would have known. He didn’t say if I wouldn’t have been so scared. He just kept saying oh my god, if I would have known if I would have known. I can’t believe it’s this good. And, you know, this all happened within maybe 30 seconds and then it was done. And I was just sort of in my car. shell shocked by what just happened and my phone rang or texted I can’t remember. But the nurse inside told me that he had died. And I thought I know because he just showed me that he was dying and or that he died or whatever that was. And I just, it’s taken me a long time to even really talk about that story and share it with people. Because it’s something I you know, I fear. I know how it sounds, you know, I know how it sounds, it sounds a little crazy, or whatever you want to call it. I don’t think it does. But I could see how it could. And, but I just felt like I had to share it with people because it was profound to me, and it felt very real. And it’s changed my way. You know, I’ve never really feared death in general, but it’s really also helped me know that, wow, whatever is going to happen is it’s going to be good. Because if anyone wasn’t sure about that, it was this guy. And he showed me that he was okay. And I was a very long winded story, Nathan, but that’s the story. No, no, that is that is absolutely beautiful. Because people who listen to this show who are drawn to us, They’re two, they’re two people, obviously, you have your funeral directors and death care, I would, I would venture to place you respectfully in this side of care, caregiving, and the final days, months to then come into our care, or there’s those on what I call the other side of the table, those who are experiencing death recently, who are intrigued by death who have

Youâ€TMll DieTrying 16:31

had to continuously have this dance with grief, whether it be for a short term, or it’s just continued. Right? And a lot of these people have have fears of that. I’ll tell you something that’s kind of similar and you can can compound upon this in your number of years within being a hospice nurse. But my grandfather, whenever he’s under hospice care and the book gone frompage4image3218107088

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our site, do you you’re familiar with this, correct? Yes, yes. I love that book. It’s my favorite. It literally respectfully speaking essentially dumbs down the process, the all of the medical and all the other chemical things that, Julie, you know, from a professional standpoint, you went to all this school for it simply paints a picture for us dummies that are fearful, because we’re always asking how much time how much longer what’s going on? Why? I don’t know why we want to know that nonetheless, and by the way, but we’re asking that all of granddad’s a children because that’s all Catholics do is drink beer and have babies and we’re sitting there and granddad’s sitting over in the corner. His feeble hand raises and he’s sitting there talking in the corner and they’re saying, dad, who are you speaking to, and he is literally talking to his mother. Now his mother was bolted out of the second storey window in Paducah, Kentucky in 1937. During the 1937 flood, please look it up. My grandfather lived with his dad and older brother, in the third floor apartment, grandmother, a great grandmother, excuse me, his mother was sick and dying of cancer. And at 10 years old, they lowered her feeble body into this boat, wooden boat that literally just goes off into the distance and never saw again after the flood. You know, the flood receded. And he never saw his mother alive. But as he’s dying, he sees his mother standing in the corner and visiting him as he is close to his own death. So, Julie, this happens pretty frequently Correct. Where people, your patients, your loved ones are seeing those that have gone before them? Right? Correct. I’m going to get to that one second. I have one question for you sure about this about your great grandmother. They put her in the boat alive, or they put her in the boat dead. Was she alive or dead in the boat? Grandma great grandmother is alive in the boat. She was actively dying. They did not expect her to live much longer. And she is lowered from the third floor into the waters in the boat that had had risen above the second story windows. But she was alive she had been after or during the flood passed away.

Nurse Julie 19:18

Wow, that’s incredible. That is incredible. Yep. So yes, so So that happens. So that’s one of the one of the main reasons why I want to start a tic tok page as one of the facts I wanted people to know. Because that that in fact is not something like my my patient story where I heard his voice in my head. This is an actual fact of death and dying were people who are dying and getting close to death. Not every it doesn’t happen to everybody. But it happens. I mean, more than 50% of people will see dead loved ones dead relatives friends Pets, mothers, grandmothers, anyone who is close to them, because some people don’t want to see relatives, you know, it’s usually someone who’s comforting to this person. before they die, they will start it’s literally a sign of death and dying. It is like we know as healthcare as healthcare or death care workers, hospice workers, whatever you want to call us. Usually about a month to a few weeks before death, there’s when they start seeing and talking to them. And that kind of gives us a time a time clock a little bit. If they start seeing people we know, okay, it’s about a month, maybe a few weeks. Crazy, but I love it.

Youâ€TMll DieTrying 20:43

It really is. It’s it’s phenomenal. And I love that people are wanting to have a conversation. When I first started in this profession, it was just think I’m in my 11th year, which isn’t really a long time. But it was such a hush hush thing. My, my father in law, we started doing this tour of the funeral home for high school seniors. And I would actually say, Okay, you are Joe Smith, you are an 85 year old man, you’ve just passed away at the hospital. And we’re going to take youpage5image3217460192

through the points of care as far as when you literally enter our facility. And I was telling my father, I’m so excited about this. And he said he stopped me and he said, Nathan, you’re not going to tell them what actually happens. Right? And he wasn’t saying it. Like it’s a secret that we are doing something wrong. It’s just It’s been such a reverent, okay, mother passes away at the house. They come to the funeral home, the loved one gets embalmed, They’re magically dressed and then voila, they appear on the casket and no one’s none the wiser. And we have since kind of started to push that barrier a little bit. Say no, this is actually what happens and it’s not so gross. Or I don’t know the word. I don’t know the word. It’s actually very reverent. How holy and selfless is it for someone like you, Julie to care for someone tend to them almost they become like

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infants, you know, in a sense, where they’re helpless, they’re unable to clean themselves or or take drinks of water, and you have to literally tend to them. And that’s a beautiful thing, right? Not only as they live and die and dying, but after their death for them to go from being sick and maybe have jaundice or something. And then they turned into this. You know, this beautiful, this beautiful being that those who love them remember before the illness or before age got got the best of them, so to speak. But what were you what in the world? Were you thinking? When you said, hey, I want because you said you worked in ICU? So did you go from ICU and you know, all of a sudden, like, you know what? I really feel called to care for those who are dying. What was that moment for you and your brain?

22:57

Well, one, I love what you were saying about how you guys are kind of trying a little bit to push back on the narrative of like what you tell people that you know, even on your end of the on of your end of the work, because I think half the reason why people think Death and Dying is so gross, or whatever the word is, right is because or scary or sad, or it is I mean, it is all of those things it can be. But I think it’s also because we’re so used to not dealing with it anymore. I think years and years ago, it was a little more in our face. Especially when we really didn’t even like we didn’t have funeral homes, we didn’t have hospitals it was a death and dying was a little more like in our in our faces just like your your granddad I think right seeing his mom and then like even seeing her on a boat and pushing her out into the water. Like we wouldn’t see that kind of stuff today. You know, and not that we even should I don’t know, but but I think the more we talk about it, the the less it will seem like something of a taboo gross topic. So I appreciate that you guys are even that you guys want to talk about it as well. And what made me want to go into hospice nursing is being an ICU nurse for nine years. You know, again, there is a special place for the I’m not talking bad about the ICU. It’s a wonderful place. I’m glad I worked there, I learned so much. And it can do wonderful things for many people. But what I found was, and healthcare in general, especially in a place like the ICU or you’re just tired, it’s just drilled to you to like save, save, save, do whatever it is do whatever it is that it takes to make sure this person’s okay when we all know that maybe they won’t be and then we just do a really poor job for the most part, not everybody and it’s no one’s fault. We’re never taught this, you know, we’re all we’re all still human. But we did a really poor job I thought at really looking long term goals and having a real conversation with the patient and their families about what their life is going to look like if they even get out of the ICU. So that and then as time went on, I got more outspoken and more outspoken. Realizing that I knew what I was talking about,page6image3204956576page6image3204956880

and that all it took was one person to really say, Hey, are we ever going to talk about long term goals? And all it took was one person saying that for everyone else to go, oh, yeah, I guess we should just start the conversation, right. And I don’t want to act like an I was the only one. You know, there are several people also doing this. And a lot of mentors of mine and doctors I would try to listen to and I liked how they talk to patients. And I just started thinking, I want to do that. I want to learn how to have really hard conversations with people. And that’s what made me be like, I don’t know exactly what I want to do, but something like hospice, and then I just sort of took the plunge and, and applied for a job and here I am. And I really liked it. Here. Here we are.

26:09

Yeah, here we are. I always like to ask this question. I think it’s really cool. It’s a twofer. Juliet’s. One, what do you want to be remembered for? When the curtain closes? And to what if you are planning your funeral right now, you’re pre planning right this moment, digitally. So it’s just what people know to do in the event that when your time comes in, you do in fact die? What do you want your funeral to look like and go

26:41

my funeral I’d want to live in funeral. So I would, I would if I had the opportunity to know I was dying, I would want to have a funeral last little life. So that’s the first thing if I didn’t know I was dying, and I was a sudden thing. I would people I would want people to just have a party and do whatever it is with my body. That’s the cheapest and best for the environment. And not worry about me and just have fun and laugh and talk and, you know, have all the emotions because everyone you know, that’s what happens when someone dies, but just know that I would want I need to make sure everyone knows that. I feel like once I die, I’m home and I’m okay. And I want everyone to know that. I’m okay. So that’s the that’s the second I answered the second for the second question. First, the first question. What was the first question again, to I’m sorry,

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what do you want to be remembered for?

27:40

Someone who was had the ability to be herself and allowed others to be their, their selves, their true self.

27:51

They say that most of you who are listening they say that hospice nurses and this is not lip service, they call them angels often because of what they’re constantly exposed to decisions that they’re making, and they’re having to actually share information with families who are grieving around bedsides in other places and they want one more day one more moment onepage7image3216776576page7image3216776880page7image3216777184page7image3216777680page7image3216777984

more something and they’re having to be exposed to grief and they show up and so Julie, I am drawn to you and those that you work alongside because you keep showing up and you expose yourself and something that we said off camera and not during this was Julie you said that you have this ability to you know separate it to leave it at the door and you know I think that’s something to be proud of one but two it’s something that all of us can really seek to learn to do because in my profession obviously similar to yours, but you know it’s always making excuses oh I need to do this I need to insert myself but I think it’s incredible that you shared that tidbit with me and I wanted to pass pass that on but yes Julie you are someone that I admire because of what you do but your passion behind it and I think that those of you who are listening and watching right now because now podcasts or video which kind of makes it now a vlog which it’s all this weird circular thing but Julie please tell everyone where in the world they can find you where you are in this moment.

29:32

i I am on Instagram and tick tock at hospice nurse Julie. They can find me living in Los Angeles, California. But no if you want to find me on social media if you want to look at my videos and hear what I have to that than dying, it’s at hospice nurse Julie on Tik Tok or Instagram and technically Facebook and YouTube but I’m mostly on to Goggins serum.

30:01

Yeah, I mean they just all like you know, kind of mud muddled together and so forth. But the beauty of and I have to circle back on this, Julie and I said this, like when I first started Season Two I said, you know, Gary Vee, he said, in this room full of people, I tell you right now get on Tik Tok. But 80% or more of you aren’t going to do it, because you’re idiots. I did it. And I found you. And because of that in the weirdest and craziest way, I think Gary Vee and all the other people such as you, who are pushing us to do something different, who are pushing us to educate and to share, share our knowledge, share our love, and share our passion for what it is that we’re passionate about. So kudos, kudos to you, Julie, and all that you do, and I hope that you feel not only loved and honored by myself, but everyone who’s going to now hit you up on Tik Tok and instagram with all of their interesting questions. So thank you for making time on this beautiful evening to speak with me.

31:00

Thank you, you too. Thank you for even having interest in this. And thank you for all you do and spreading the word and all your hard work you and your family.

31:14

What she’s not telling you, as we in this segment is that we tried this already before and it was a disaster. It was a it was a shit show. To say the least. She said they’re just so lovely. Or it was awful. But nonetheless, it’s almost it is almost Julie’s time to cut it off for the for the afternoon, because she sticks to it, ladies and gentlemen, but thank you very much as always for listening to this segment of death over decaf. We’ll be right back. Real quick, everyone it is Nathanpage8image3216272320page8image3216272624page8image3216272928page8image3216273424

interrupting myself, I want to ask a favor of you. Please subscribe to this podcast on the platform in which you’re enjoying this content and the obituaries content subscribe to that as well. And please take a minute and share this episode with a friend. Right the second. Okay, back to the show. My grandfather always said when you finish work at five o’clock, he didn’t say it so aggressively. It’s just the frustration that’s built up in my loins right this second when you finish work at five o’clock and on your commute home, you decompress. And before you step foot inside your home, your safe space, the place of solace, you leave everything outside. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t have a clue how to do that. Because at five o’clock, we don’t clock out at five o’clock. It’s just another time for us. In the funeral profession. It’s just it’s just the little numbers on our wristwatch. How my grandfather did it. I don’t know he was the head of accounting for a very large business for a number of years. I don’t know how he did it, especially and then he went home to five. Not five he went home. Add five to eight children. Yeah, after two you lose count of how many you have. How does he do it? I don’t know. I don’t know how he did it. And I envied I long for it today. Above all days do I long for it? I double booked myself today actually I triple booked myself today at a meeting and then I had a Zoom meeting I pushed the Zoom meeting back and then I had a team’s meeting the team’s meeting got canceled, then it got pushed back then it got rescheduled altogether then the Zoom meeting. That was once a team’s meeting became a Zoom meeting not long after finishing a funeral that I had to step in on and take lead for because the family with six children surviving their elderly mother needed me and the team needed me because the funeral director who arranged had to go to another county because our death rates are so astronomical. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 11 years which is nothing it’s only a decade plus one which people who are younger than us who are listening think oh my gosh, that’s so long when in all reality. It’s not bless me. No really Lord, bless me to hang your hat. I don’t know what that would look like. I have no idea I longed for the day where I feel I can unplug but I don’t know that this profession allows for that fully. I mean, you go on vacation, I just texted someone in this profession who is on vacation? And they replied to their automatic reply that they had set up. You set your automatic email replies so that you can be unavailable and yet we allow for those automatic replies to be replied to in almost real time to us the actual person and not the auto reply. Is this something in which I will do forever? Meaning is this something I need to just accept that I can’t unplug at five o’clock and I will never be able to or is there a way that I can overcome this thought? It’s not bad it’s not good. It

36:11

is. My grandfather didn’t understand the funeral profession. Of course he can say yes at five. hang your hat because when you get into the office, it will be waiting for you but no, it won’t. Because when the hospice nurse calls you at midnight, yes they are waiting for you. Not at 8am They are waiting for you to arrive shortly there after the midnight call. If 25 minutes past you will be called again asking for an ETA you don’t want to keep someone waiting when they are grieving and are now ready to release their loved one to you. So you Johnny or Johnny on the spot it and are quickly arriving at the funeral home to quickly jump into the transfer van to quickly get to the residents to quickly receive the loved one whose family and trusted you with. Also while accommodating the hospice nurse who has received two more notifications of passings and has to get to the first of two which maybe two more will follow within her shift that ends at seven is this the life that I will forever live in my forever plagued by an able to hang my hat that’s why it’s called a corporate work of mercy. That is why it is called an appointment by God you don’t wake up and you say hooray, hurrah. Let’s sacrifice so much of ourselves to serve others. It’s an appointment it’s placed inside you. It’s a part of you. You can’t get away from it. You don’t retire from this profession, you die. And that’s real. It’s real, nopage9image3213763296

matter how you wish to look at it. So grandfather, who passed away in 2013. I know he did not understand the profession then which I am in in which you possibly are in. And if you’re not think about how incredible it is to know that there are people who are at your beck and call, genuinely speaking to not in an arrogant or frustratingly stated manner. We are at your beck and call. honestly didn’t even know what the next podcast was going to be about. I genuinely thought, oh my gosh, I have writer’s block because I sit at the computer or on my iPhone notes. And I begin to write out the script for the next episode. And by the way, one of my colleagues sent a text and said what a book are you getting these episodes from? Well, friend, I’d write them myself. I don’t know I don’t know what it is like to be able to hang your hat to unpack plug at five and to go home and have no sense of obligation to what it is you put your efforts toward until the next morning’s shift. I don’t know what that feels like, I don’t know that I want to know. It’s not because I want to not have to answer to someone else or some other form of, I don’t want to have a boss I, my thought is simply this. I think there is a beautiful catch 22 Here damned if I do, damned if I don’t ever drop the baggage at the door.

40:48

And it’s not just us not dropping the baggage. It’s not just us, not being able to stop taking note to stop responding to teams messages and emails and pre planning requests which roll in on Monday or email, notification requests and our pipeline on Monday it is those in health care and the hospice, caregivers hospice, think about what they do. I mean, at the bedside, in 11 years, I have never seen someone die, I have seen the aftermath of death, never the act of dying and the outcome, which is extremely ironic, I have never seen a last breath taken it can, from what I am told, and from what I see on tick tock can be holy, and pleasant, and beautiful, comforting, and how I don’t personally know. My faith tells me that those of us who believe who truly believe and put our hearts and minds and commit to following to following this idea of being selfless and loving and being kind that one day we too may receive eternal life. And my hope would be as someone who is genuinely scared to death of death, it will be painless and pleasant for me. So to those specifically within hospice who are at the bedside who are experiencing the icky family dynamics, because you never know what type of environment you’re walking into. Is it unhealthy from the standpoint of legitimate health bacteria and and and trash and just closeness? Or is it unhealthy from the standpoint of psychological where you have very tumultuous Relationships and family dynamics are just so all over the spectrum that you walk in? Are you unsafe? Are you these hospice nurses come in and continuously provide the same level of care regardless if the dynamic or environment is nothing but And speaking of hospice, nurses, who, in my honest opinion are closest to angels in the sense of their willingness, and I can’t imagine how impossible it is for them to turn things off because they’re constantly covering shift for the nurse who called in sick, or has worked themselves sick or who has absolutely earned a two day vacation, vacation and air quotes. They are overworked. They are underpaid. I would not say that they’re underappreciated. They just aren’t hearing it all the time. And if anything within this episode, May this episode be exposing the true hearts of hospice and what it is they do. And this is amazing to how technology and it’s I find myself tipping my hat to Gary Vee who encouraged Nathan get on tick tock with the funeral homes which who in the world is going to watch but apparently they do and they have

44:58

and without further ado, I find It’s only fitting that this episode of you’ll die trying which is, of course, always sponsored exclusively by big turkeyfoot coffee. And E F F, this segment of deathpage10image3204677120page10image3204677424

over decaf, which let’s be very honest has not been for a long time. It’s back. It’s back with a vengeance. So I get on Tik Tok and I see this nurse Julie who is a hospice nurse, nurse Julie is educating us on tick tock about what it is like being a hospice nurse answering questions, sharing personal stories, it was beautiful and I immediately said, Hey, nurse, Julie, you are coming on you’ll die trying and are going to be on the death over decaf segment. And you know what she responded said Sure. Absolutely. I’m over here on video using my air pom poms because I’m excited because I believe in hospice, and I believe in it so much. We’ve welcomed them into our homes on multiple occasions personally. And I’m grateful that someone like Julie has devoted her life to not hanging it at five to not leaving it at the door. polar opposite really carrying it with her always sharing it on Tik Tok and Instagram. So nurse Julie let’s go