Ep. 131 – The Forgotten One

You’ll die trying contain sensitive subject matter and conversation surrounding death and dying and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is respectfully advised. dryers tick tock friends, old new and welcome. I’ve announced it a few times on my lives on tick tock at Nathan Morris music, but I want to make things a little more official and consistent. So granddad always said, participate in and give to the things you’re passionate about. You know, I’d never heard him curse before. But for dramatic effect, I’ll paraphrase he meant people can smell your bullshit from a mile away. So with that in mind, giving of yourself and have your time and talents needs to go toward and be towards and for things stuff you believe in. Like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Each year, they answer millions of calls, 24 hours a day, they’re available to those in need. And need a friend someone to hear them to just sit someone to listen. Moments of their sadness, their loneliness, whatever it may be, proceeds of every single purchase at Youâ€TMll Forward slash shop will go toward their efforts each and every single month. Go by forward slash shop. We should be mindful of those who feel alone who feel overlooked. And if you feel that you aren’t, I promise. I am here. I’ve always said I will meet you here where you are in this moment. In whatever moment of need that may be. It’s what this show has and will always be about. We have a responsibility to do this for one another. Good, bad, ugly. It’s it’s the human in us. So head over to Youâ€TMll forward slash shop grab some swag. Grab a bag of that. Yes, you know by now delicious, big turkeyfoot coffee. I actually just shipped some off to you bundle buyers like today. So keep that because proceeds are going to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. And of course, eff I tip my hat to you proud supporters of the show and the families we serve at Morris family. They work to assign proceeds from insurance policies to purchase agreements so that dreadful quote unquote balance do it doesn’t loom over the families heads. The funeral directors are able to work alongside and assist these families so we’re able to gather grief celebrate one so deserving to be celebrated while EFF and the insurance companies work tirelessly on the back end it’s it’s a win win. Visit Express funeral funding calm it’s actually a brand new look check it out I tip my hat to you all did in the beginning but I’m doing it again. great looking website. Do we are season two episode 131 of your by trying a show which pulls back the curtain and takes down these walls brick by brick to expose the hearts of those who are caring for those you love. Well, let’s go your parents annoy you. Your cat annoys you everyone annoys you. really hate to and maybe they don’t. But don’t lie because they do. The moment they are no longer here to annoy you though. You’re sad. Like right now at that thought alone. The thought of your mom walking in unannounced on a Sunday after you’re a little hungover from Saturday’s shenanigans. You’re the least thrilled at her being present. Do you want to sleep you want to stare at the TV? Yet one day she won’t be making unannounced visits. That means no reliable and sound advice? No, like clockwork gray hoodies at Christmas time. None of that. And if that isn’t sad enough, there voice mini on my tic tock at Nathan Morris music mention the sheer sound of their voice is what is missed the most.

So pause this right now and send a text or make a call just to make sure that your loved ones know you love them. All of them. Oh wait. The other side of the coin is not having anyone. Not a single soul to check on you to ask how you are. When in most cases life with such a scenario sound sad, lonely and insanely quiet. No one asking how you are. There are many, unfortunately, who I call the forgotten the loved ones who coast through life to shy far gone overlooked to speak up in order to be noticed. I mean, maybe we do notice them and turn away. Maybe we unintentionally do all of this. And most instances the way we live is the way we die. When we show the world so much love, surround ourselves with incredible people. Those same people rally at bedsides and in driveways during the 11th hour to wish us farewell the Arizona drifter doesn’t have the same luxury, if anything the bragging rights of how many states that they have valid driver’s license in I mean they can’t even brag about it. Unfortunately again there’s no one to share the story with no one it’s just them and their thoughts I’m hopeful there are people left behind somewhere missing their existence I mean for all they know a relationship gone sour a bad decision or a mix of both have the loved ones thinking they’re gone from their lives and world. It’s not the case though. Until the Forgotten are dead. Forgotten unseen. Until a smell leaves acknowledgement of their partying. dying alone and forgotten is a massive fear of mine. It actually might be why I’m so hyper obsessed with making sure those I cross paths with know my appreciation for them. The caveat being perhaps they’re alone most of the day and night too and my recognizing them allows them to feel less lonely. I’m not sure I remember around one as we receive a coroner’s call for a loved one who had died well over two weeks prior. Again, the only thing confirming a death was the tenant on the floor below. And over across the hall smelling what they thought was a dead their words, not mine. Upon arrival the corner outside with a landlord remember when it’s outside when the corner is outside. The landlord in the corner informing us of the task at hand. Upstairs, tight quarters, bathroom, facedown, younger loved one. No one known to survive them. The neighbors living close by didn’t even get many exchanges from them.

So reclusive and lost the world they died weeks before. Alone. Our county does a rotation of sorts in these instances, meaning an indigent case, which means no one claims this loved one they have no one and or some other factors mixed in the coroner’s office will pay $500 for court ordered cremation courts paperwork, all they’re involved, the same level of care, and probably more care to get this task completed for $500. I’ll have you know, one servicing County we care for does not even allow for Cremation and Burial must take place. An even more expensive and financial burden for a funeral home to carry out. Just because a funeral home has pretty carpet and pretty furniture and pretty light fixtures and caring staff, lovely staff dressed to the nines, beautiful vehicles. I think the misconception is a twofer. We’re all rich, and we’re money hungry. Both could not be more untrue. overhead cost for supplies, to keep the doors open utilities on staff payroll, the nice things you see the nice carpet, the nice vehicles all of which all adds up. So to eat the costs and caring for one with nothing or no one is both a blessing and a curse. If no one in life will tend to them and death. The least we can do is offered dignified attention. I get that. This is why the coroner’s office rotates because of the monetary blow. The Funeral Home graciously does this losing money. And still we and others do this well, I’m ever confident of that. When we entered up the stairs, the older was close to overwhelming. You could smell the room from the curb outside. The law enforcement officers stayed with us, my associate and myself for two hours. That’s how long it took to reverently transfer the loved one from the floor in the bathroom to the cot and down a narrow flight of stairs. Why? The rooms are tiny at best, being intentional and careful met tedious and slow movements. All that filled the tiny apartment like everything that was in this tiny apartment was a futon mattress on the floor in the bedroom a pair of shoes, a gas station cup filled with soda and bleach. Yes, the pain of this world to this loved one seemed worth a deadly and slow painful death because the pain of this world was far greater. The bathroom had one faded pink towel on the towel rack. The kitchen had a box of

crackers, and some coffee as well as a coffee pot on the counter, along with a griddle. No microwave, no other appliances, no refrigerator, no stove. In the living room was their bicycle. Obviously used often and an item in which you could tell was appreciated. It looked like the sole means of transportation to and from. In these moments, once they’re repurposing safely now no longer alone with us. We get to work. From funeral director to investigator tracking those who love them down there has to be someone missing them we

think hoping for a call. We never assume they’ll be disposed of. Don’t worry, disposition or disposal is the legal term whether it’s cremation or burial

of a loved one. Even if the preliminary court order cremation paperwork is started on our end, we turn to Facebook, LinkedIn and all the other beautiful tools and social media sites to help Find someone in this loved ones case we did. We found an aunt, who had missed them painfully for years. Mental health and falling outs created a perpetual feeling of needing to run. As sad as that sounds and is their death brought so many back together. And we were able to facilitate a means to gather, remember, and celebrate a life worthy to be celebrated. We honored accomplishments, their love of art. The means taken for them to travel for so long and so far, legally and safely. It is amazing. A person’s story. stop and ask someone some questions. You’ll be amazed I don’t mind it being our turn. I am aware the person we are tending to deserves to be just like you remember, triers the forgotten that overlooked the underachiever who feels lesser than if you no one. Assure them they are valued. They are loved. wave at them. Invite them over for a meal. You never know if a futon is the only thing hugging them at night.

To all of you finding yourself so alone You are not asked to be seen. We don’t mean anything by our ignorance. Sometimes life is just too loud for us to notice. Anything. We’re dumb in that way. season two episode 131 in the bag. Head over to for slash shop grab some swag find me on Tik Tok at Nathan Morris music on Instagram at Nathan Morris at Youâ€TMll DieTrying podcast. Until next time, knock on a door share a loving word szarka we’ll see you at 132