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Ep. 134 – Constructively Criticize

You’ll die trying contain sensitive subject matter and conversation surrounding death and dying and
may not be suitable for all audiences listener discretion is respectfully advised.
The studio fills in sounds a little more echoey it’s probably large in part because Morris family and
you’ll die trying the offices have moved to the warehouse. I cannot wait for you to see said warehouse
titled The warehouse. It’s essentially the Morris family corporate offices. But that sounds to corporate
and I don’t like it. So I call it the warehouse. At the warehouse is where you’ll find my office Hydras
office and Haley’s office and JTS office and soon to be well, yes, Kayla’s office the executive assistant
large impart thank you to all of you on tick tock who have submitted resumes for both that position
and a funeral director and accounting. We are very grateful for your taking the time to share with us
your resumes. I am just excited to meet you here. I think that now more than ever, especially with all
of the things and seasons we find ourselves in, of course, the Easter season and spring season but
the season within work and when you just stand firm, and you myself we meet each other where we
are in this moment and we accept each other for who we are and where we are. It’s invaluable. There
is power in that so this is me standing while sitting in this moment with you. Right this moment I just
actually finished a photoshoot. Yeah, let me explain the photoshoot so may 13. A new single comes
out. It is really exciting. For us in the music and funeral and podcast world all of these things are
igniting and firing off simultaneously we have a single coming out May the 13th and I am going to be
announcing very very soon. Another really cool event happening in August. If you follow me on Tik
Tok at Nathan Morris music you already know of this event it is going to meld the funeral and music
worlds perfectly together. That is who I am. I am a mortician and musician and this photoshoot really
is going to be beautiful in that it shows and conveys this right? It is me standing in the same
environment in which I would stand otherwise in a suit in a suit capturing me but showcasing this
other side. The music side. Anyway, it’s exciting for all of you to see here experience all that I am
working on. In hopes that it inspires encourages build you up.


As always, you’ll die trying.com forward slash shop grab you a bag, grab some swag a bag of that big
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the store proceeds net proceeds benefit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline it is near and dear to
my heart. We have all been affected by mental health, mental illness, perhaps even you have lost
someone you love to suicide. It’s real, we should talk about it. It is not taboo. Reach out to someone
who you love. Ask people how they are and be ready for them to say they’re not okay. And I assure
you that’s why my dollars are going towards the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline because they are
ready for you because they love and believe in you just as I do, but there are people who are
devoting their time and lives to answer the call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline field training.com Ford slash shop get you some of that bag and swag and all that
other stuff. And lastly, thanks so much that you pff expressed funeral funding working tirelessly on
the back end, assigning proceeds from insurance assignments to cover the funds of a funeral so that
funeral directors can work closely with the family to create a celebration, a meaningful celebration
and not have to worry about that looming balance due on the front end, the front end is the most
important End Of course. So, eff works tirelessly on the back end of things. Funeral Directors and
families on the front end can gather, celebrate, grieve, and remember those whom we all love, visit
Express funeral funding.com Check out the new book, and learn how they can benefit and bless not
only your funeral homes, but the families in which we all serve. I just came back from a week of hell a
week of hell not because in hell per se, but just the delicate difficulties that have been facing me and
I them it’s just not easy to steer a ship this large because there’s so many people not only those on
my team, but those my team serve that rely upon decisions we make, even if they’re delicate,
difficult and challenging. You have to stand firm in it. And I’m grateful to be on the other end, I think
businesses, funeral homes, our businesses, just as churches are businesses, yes ministries, but
businesses and people lose sight of that. Because if the offering plate being passed around, doesn’t
fill up and you all are behind on this quarter versus last year and you have to possibly lay off the
organist. It’s not an easy decision to make. And next thing you know, the organist is pissed off, and
he’s gonna go to the other Baptist Church and play the organ and show you and take some of your
congregation. And that’s not easy to it’s not easy to face. Yet you stand firm because you understand
that’s the best decision so that the church doors can stay open so the worshipers can still come and
experience God they’re the hope that analogy makes sense. I’m on the tail end of and I continue to be
mindful of those I love and serve and then those that you know I come into contact with being
intentional. Being a business being in service, the parallel the fine line that we walk, it is very difficult
to do, because everyone has the opinion. Right? And that my ladies and gents is where it gets hard to
be a funeral director. And here are the opinions the rocks being thrown at you without sin cast the
first stone and Welcome to Season Two. Welcome to You’ll DieTrying Trier’s, it’s a show which of
course pulls back the curtain and takes down these walls brick by brick and exposes the true hearts
of those who are caring for those you love. Most opinions. Opinionator Opinionator, Opinionator. Go I
got you. You thought that was actually here. Your phone ringing You see, I got your attention. I just
wanted to interrupt myself to say, hey, why don’t you just subscribe right this very moment on the
podcast platform. You’re listening to this podcast on to this podcast and then also to the obituaries
subscribe to this podcast on the podcast platform which you’re listening to this podcast. If you
remember that then just do it, and then share it with a friend.


If that wasn’t confusing enough, I’ll just I’ll just send you back to this episode. If you follow me on Tik
Tok at Nathan Morris music you may have seen the three minute video I posted about everyone
giving a complaint. Not everyone but I was showcasing a few complainers and not even complaints. I
think criticism is incredible if it is constructive, right? Like, hey, Nathan, you are a little flat on this
note. What I think you should try to do is why don’t you take a deeper breath yatta yatta yatta Oh,
that’s constructive. Awesome. Or I Nathan your flat on this note. Stop. Okay, like, Yeah, I know. Help
me or what’s your other point of this? Funeral Directors, we are so committed to a community and
people right? We really are. I mean, we die to you. We die to ourselves for you. And it’s hard when
you are so focused on caring for we are human. We are not perfect. Exceptional. Yeah, we strive for
that. And that’s our hope because there’s no substitute But perfection is not a existed, we cannot be
perfect. We can try and strive and that’s great. Perfection is unattainable. Yet. We strive for it. And it’s
very hard to yes make a mistake in general. But it’s very hard as a funeral director to forget
something overlooked something Oh, I forgot to send the obituary to the Vincent’s on times, or
something to that nature, or the lapel pin that you brought in three days before. We overlooked. We
didn’t lose, we overlooked and left it in the garment bag in the jewelry pocket. And it’s not on mom
during first view. Damn it, right. Yeah, that’s frustrating and annoying to a family who walks up and
wants to see the lapel pin, especially if its meaning as you know, it ties the great great grandchild to
this whole thing that never got a chance to actually meet. You get the idea. We don’t like to mess up
as funeral directors, nor in life as people but as funeral directors. And we’re very delicate about it all.
But we hear about it a hot. And it’s not because we mess up a lot. But it’s because these people like
to throw stones and like to let us know, when we are not performing quote unquote, air quotes with
my fingers up to their par up to their standards. And one of the stories is as follows. I get a phone call
from Christine, which she won’t mind me sharing. And that’s great. And all because that’ll tell me to
tell you hey, you need to go and listen after this episode, you need to go over and head over to listen
to the obituary with Mike and Christine. It’s the show after the show. And last episode, they were
talking about mourning jokes. And it’s funny because they’re funny. They’re the light hearted aspect
of the funeral profession. I like to think I am too. But nonetheless, Christine calls my cell phone and
I’m getting ready to leave. And she says you’ve seen us today. Right? And I was like, Yeah, I’ve seen
you today. And she says okay, well, someone just called to complain about the way that we looked on
the funeral today at the church. I said, What are you talking about? The dead, they demanded to
speak to you. And they were not happy with how we were apparently dressed. I said, Okay, I will call
this individual. Now before I tell you, I did call them but I saw Christine and mica and then go on this
funeral. And they looked lovely like they do every single day, Christine with a really long pretty hair.
And their outfits were very nice. They were dressed for a funeral, right? We dress in black, and we
have our blouse. But then we also have our jackets over top of we wear our name tag. We are
absolutely superior in both action and in the way in which we carry ourselves and look, call this
individual. The individual told me the similar story that Christine said that they said to her on the
phone. And I said, are we talking about the same people, I just saw them actually leave the funeral
home to precess. And they looked beautiful. And the caller started to laugh and said that. I don’t
know if we’re talking about the same people back to me. And I said respectfully, I appreciate your
desire and want to look out for the perception of our funeral home. However, the
moment you started to laugh showed me that you are disrespecting us now. And you do not have the
intention to help us but to hurt us. And they responded something I’m not really familiar with but just
that they did not agree with me and I at that point stated, well, we will agree to disagree because I
stand by my team. They are beautiful. They are the best. And they then responded with who are they
anyway. So I’m laughing at this as because, well, first off, they’re people. I didn’t say that, but I’m like
they’re human beings. But I said Well, one is the assistant manager. And the second one Micah, who
is also a co host of the obituary, which is listened to is one of our shining stars as well. And she said, Well, I don’t know them. And I said, Okay, right. I mean, so at this point conversation is is pointless.


And they said, you know, they said, Let’s just keep this conversation between us. Well, yeah, it’s
really frustrating, because I ended it with Saying, I appreciate your call, I do want you to know that all
of us devote our lives to you and your family. And we work really, really hard to do that. And we
sacrifice a lot. And I hope that you and everyone realizes and recognizes that. So that call ended
respectfully the entire time. Of course, I was respectful, and she was as respectful as possible. But I
don’t know what the point of that call was. Because none of it was factual. Because the girls, and
even if it wasn’t this situation, myself, what if I had tripped in water before I entered into the church
and my pressed pants didn’t have the press line in the front of and back of the dress pan? Right. I’m
going to be ridiculed probably for that. I wonder what people’s intentions are? You know, I think it’s
important for all of us to check ourselves before we speak on that. Or, you know, I recently had
someone tell me that I was a piece of shit. And I responded with do you drink coffee? And they said,
Yeah, I asked him to come over for a cup of coffee. I didn’t get mad. They came over for a cup of
coffee, thankfully, do not came out of that. We hurt each other. H e, AR D, we heard each other, each
listened. We shook hands exchanged numbers, and we still text to this day. Isn’t that amazing? Right.
Or you have the families who are disgruntled because their side of the family six times removed
always used another funeral home, right. And they’re looking every moment because they weren’t
heard at the bedside, hey, use ABC funeral home. They were trumped, if you will. And they chose a
Morris family location. And so the entire visitation, they’re just berating the staff. I think it’s important
if you are in funeral care, hospitality of any sort to realize that people are going to look for things
nonstop. And all we can do is do our absolute best. Be kind, be intentional, be respectful, all of those
things. We cannot please everyone, funeral directors Listen up, you will not please everyone,
everyone will legitimately for the most part be pleased. But there is the 1% it is in possible to please.
And that is okay. I think the point and purpose of this podcast is we as funeral home owners, funeral
directors, we work so hard to get it all right. And we are not always going to our hearts are in it. Our
lives are devoted to it.

And Grace would be a lovely and appreciated thing from those we serve. I think Grace from everyone would be
appreciated from everyone. Because I have a sense that we’ve lost a sense of it. These last couple of
years. We are defensive, we are on our edge. On our defense, we’re ready to protect at all costs. And
I don’t think that our intentions as a whole is to hurt. And I want us to be mindful if again, if you want
to give me construction and criticize me and love I will listen to you all day long. But the moment that
disrespect comes into play, and you don’t want to reciprocate kindness as far as your willingness to
listen yourself in the conversation ends and I will remember this forever and always my friend Robert.
He is an insurance agent who has worked tirelessly to take care of people he’s been mine for a very,
very long time. And he told me one day because I tend to confide in him I sat in his office and I was
telling him some story where probably someone was telling me how terrible I am. And he said let me
tell you a story. There was a man that came into my office and is chewing me out one end and bout
another because of something pertaining to the insurance company, not the insurance agent who is
simply at this point, the messenger in the mouthpiece who has no control over said company’s policy
or procedure. Oftentimes how some things that issue of tend to be with us, right? We are simply
having to show you a casket because you legally have to be in a container to be placed into the
ground. L in the cemetery does require a vault. I can’t help it. These are what we have. The man that
was yelling at Robert, in regards to something insurance related pauses for just a moment, enough
time for Robert to interject and say, hey, you know what, if you drive in North about two miles, you’ll
pass about nine other insurance agents and company who I believe will be able to help you. Because
it doesn’t seem like I’m the right person. The man sat back in his chair, calm down,
stayed and reset.


People are genuinely good people. People want the best for you. I promise you that. I want the best. I
want the absolute best for my team and my family and the communities in which we serve. That is
literally why I have invested my dollars and cents and have put the farm on the line in time. My hope
is people will realize, and maybe be a little more be a little more kind and you funeral directors out
there, be gentle with yourself, you’re not going to be perfect. You’re not but just don’t wear like a
really light gray suit on a funeral day, I learned that the hard way no one told me if stupid was like
one of my first funerals, and then I was just shamed the whole time. That’s another that’s another
story. be constructive, if you wish to criticize construct along the way and do it in kindness receive it
well, too. However, I get a lot of people on Tiktok say, Hey, I’m going to be a funeral assistant or I
want to go into the funeral profession or this pertaining to and they’re like, what’s your advice, and I
want to say all the time and I have is be open to criticism, constructive criticism. Don’t be scared of it.
Don’t be defensive. Don’t be closed minded.


I didn’t mean for this episode to turn into like a therapy session. I just think it’s important for our team
who listen to this in the funeral profession to know that you do have dignity. And you have every right
to have self respect. And you are incredible. And us listener are incredible as well. I’m excited for you
to see all these photos. I’m excited for the new single to come out. I’m excited for the new record. I’m
excited for all of the new listeners and everyone on Instagram at Nathan Morris and at You’ll
DieTrying. podcast all of the swag that you buy. You’ll that training.com forward slash shop of course
proceeds are benefiting National Suicide Prevention Lifeline but be sure to tag us on Instagram, I want
to make sure we share your pretty face. All right, complain all you want, but you better be
constructive about it. If you complain and don’t have a response in the sense of like a solution, then
keep it to yourself. And people Trier’s, it’s okay, that people not everyone are going to like you or
choose you or choose your funeral home or think your decisions are the right ones. But if you know
and you make decisions with the intention and understanding to bless the betterment of everyone,
then it is the right decision. It’s okay. It is okay. That is going to do it for this episode. Bret is probably
traveling the world with his motorcycle. Now he’s producing this episode and he’s heading on the
road with his dad being a man doing the fun stuff while we are in the dirt and in the thick of it. I’m
excited to be in the new office space. I’m excited for all of you who have joined me on social I’m
excited for all the upcoming events we have. Be intentional, be kind criticize and love. Give a solution.
Give an idea bring an idea to the table. And don’t judge people if you don’t really know. Just don’t do
it. Because they’ll probably prove you wrong. Until the next episode. Be kind please rewind