Ep. 153 – Funerals and Music

You’ll die trying contain sensitive subject matter and conversation surrounding death and dying and may not be suitable for all audiences listener discretion is respectfully advised.

Are you ready? Because I am I’m ready. You know, we haven’t mentioned the site in a while but if you go to you’ll die

That is why OULLDIE Try You’re gonna see a really neat thing. Yep, you can write this second. Record yourself on your phone using your audio memo, whatever it’s called App. Upload an mp3 right this second at your for an opportunity to have your introduction showcased in an upcoming episode along with an awesome shout out maybe some other stuff but we really would love to do this this is really exciting for me personally because I want to learn and hear from you and where you are and where we are meeting each other so head to you’ll die and record yourself record yourself saying this is season two episode 153 a show which here it is this as you say this pulls back the curtain takes down the walls brick by brick and exposes the true hearts of those who are caring for those you love. Most. Yeah, that’s it. You did it go right now to record yourself and we might or we will we will pick and we will showcase and we will shout out and give credit where credit is due. So do that for me right this second big target for coffee delicious brown brew. Thank you to our exclusive exemplary exquisite, extravagant. So salad Yeah, the men and women over epic turkeyfoot coffee head over and grabbing a bag of that. If you go to Nathan Morris right this second you grab some swag we are and have given away quite a few free bags of rough river blend my favorite blend we’re out. So you’ll have to wait until the next opportunity. People grabbed a tea. Yep. At Nathan Morris at the shop where they then are given free coffee. Hey, you know, you wait too long is gone. Just saying eff Express funeral funding tirelessly working on the back end with the insurance companies to assign insurance proceeds to cover the funeral expense. So on the front end, the most important and funeral directors myself we can gather with these families, the families we care for so very much and create a meaningful celebration one that is fitting for them that is comfortable for them and honors their loved one who is so deserving of and that looming balance do isn’t hanging over the heads of those we care for EFF working tirelessly on the back end so us as funeral directors can do what we do best where we can create an opportunity to gather celebrate grief, on the front end the most important and head over to express funeral and learn more how Express can assist you like they do at Morris Family Services. Yeehaw I don’t know why I said that. I remember whenever I left the road. You know, I was a lone ranger. What is it? Where they say that they’ve? I don’t know. I’m trying to think the there’s a term where they’ve forged the path or they’ve kicked up dirt where they whatever where I’ve burned up the road Iured and I came and meet Maggie and I start working at the funeral home and I actually grieved for two years because I was my identity was in the music world right and I didn’t have a clue how to be normal quote unquote, because who in their right mind is creative and normal? Well, no one really that’s still fact but slowly but surely I got my footing but also I think as of late I have really realized that you can do what you love and it be a part of a couple of different pillars. What I mean by that is I very much am still doing music which super appreciative to all of you who have streamed yet why E T? Yeah, not why D He like You’re like trying yeah, that’s all this shit up excuse me all this stuff is getting really, really confusing. But yet the single first single got all this attention entrepreneur all that stuff right that’s a pillar the music is a pillar but what’s the foundation? The foundation is the funeral home and homes. The secret sauce wasn’t music alone the

secret sauce was meeting you where you are and being intentional and you finding me on Tik Tok and realizing that we have a commonality which we both want to learn. We all want to learn as much as we possibly can and not do and I have and will keep pulling back this curtain and this curtain that we’ve pulled back. Here we are. And the magic sauce is, oh, he’s a musician. Oh, yes, a podcast. Oh, he’s a father. Oh, there’s all these different things going. And he’s a business, man and entrepreneur, you can do and do and do what you love. Even if you are working at Popeyes, or a barista, or working the construction crew on a highway, the highway crew, you know, like in Nashville that perpetual workers, the perpetual updating whatever I’m trying to say you can always still do. And if you’re not doing what you love, like, including incorporating music in highway work, or barista or whatever that is, then you aren’t truly living or sharing your talent, right? I mean, what funeral Do you know, that doesn’t have a beautiful song attributed to it? They, there can’t be a beautiful funeral without an incredible song. And there can’t be an incredible song. Without experiencing tragedy, loss and grief. It’s fact. I mean, you could have a pop song that sounds awesome and upbeat. But if you really strip it down, like for instance, the song friends, search friends, Nathan Morris, wherever you listen to music, listen to that song. That’s a cover song. And the original artist is Justin Bieber and blood pop.

It was this very, I was wandering back to mama. Well, we slowed it down strip it down. And the song lyrics are really sad and tragic. can overlook that

sometimes, which sells my point altogether. I wish I could go back to the to your grieving process of saying oh my gosh, I can’t do music, I can’t tour anymore. This is the end and say, Don’t be an idiot. be incredible. Keep creating. Because the moment that actually really did is when all this started to happen and hit and you all came in droves and continue to meet me. It’s amazing what can happen if you just continue to do what you’re passionate about. Because you have to not because you’re trying to there’s a there’s an agenda behind it. It’s just because you have to write. And it’s not rocket science to take care of people and be kind to people along the way. Because relationships matter and just being present really does matter. And then when all the noise starts to happen, because of your passion for what you love, and people are joining left and right, and you have to create a team quickly, then all the people you’ve previously been kind to and intentional with will join forces and be totally on board. Again. I’m no philosopher, I’m not Socrates. I just dumb it down because I’m dumb. And that’s really what it is. It’s about relationships, because they matter and people aren’t selling their funeral homes to me, because I’m presenting money to buy, a person will sell their house to anyone, a person will sell their funeral home to hardly anyone. Because there’s blood and sweat and tears and sadness and grief and you’ve raised your children and you’ve sent them off and you’ve lost so much and you’ve sacrificed so much. So it has to be passed to someone or someone’s who is going to be just as delicate as they have been for however many decades or however many centuries in the family. So I’m proud of my genuine approach and that is why we are growing. That’s the magic sauce people it’s relationships and kindness and genuine human interaction, something that doesn’t necessarily exist like it should. I mean, we’re pretty self serving people. Generally speaking, I’m at fault for that, but I try to be extra mindful of it to Hey, buddy, there’s a world out there. Let’s be present. And you know, to add to that, Goodwin severs our location of Vincenz. Indiana is sponsoring a Yep, we’re playing another one. A big one. A big one November 5 7pm That’s Eastern Daylight Time. We’re playing at the Red Skelton center. At Vincennes University, we are playing and CO headlining with Cochran and company. We are excited about this show. Tickets go on sale very, very soon. So, you know, stay up to date at Nathan Morris Sign up for the newsletter because we’re sending out newsletters people love newsletters. Did you know that? Yeah, we do. Or you can just text 270-456-4028 I think that’s the number. I don’t remember. But I’ll find out. I’m gonna I’m gonna do it right, the second 27045640282704564028 Texting right now it really is. Me. And I always want to text you all late at night. And so I always get this. I get this notifications like, Are you sure you want to sit in those people are asleep? Yeah, because we try to be, you know, intentional and kind about it. So I always wait. And then, you know, I might forget, I didn’t even know what day it was for like the past three months. It’s fine. Find your strengths. And that’s another thing. Find what you love. Be nerdy about it. If you love it, do it. The end if you stink at singing, don’t be in the choir. And I think about that with how we run our business too. It’s like, if you love being in our care center, then why would I put you in the arrangement room? Now I understand feeling and plugging a hole one time, right? I mean, all the funeral directors are out serving families on death calls are on funerals. And an embalmer, a funeral director is caring for someone in the care center, they

finish and they can assist in arranging a funeral. That’s great, you know, a one and done, I get it, you’re a team player, we want team players, that’s what we want. But I’m not going to keep you there. If you hate it won’t I mean hate it, you know, you’re just not as passionate about it. So find their lane and stay in it, stick in it, but be willing to have your four walls, not be so stiff and have them be willing to bend. That’s what leadership is. For us. It’s literally leading by example, and being willing to scrub a toilet because we’re going to ask you to do it might seem like I’m all over the place. But it all really does coincide. I have people reaching out which I’m so flattered by and they’re like, Hey, will you come to West Virginia, or North Carolina or Michigan and talk to us about culture or team building or this, and I just am intentional. And I pay close attention and everything that I do where I enter any place even not a Moore’s family, I’m watching and I’m taking mental note. And I’m thinking about what warms me and my heart and what doesn’t, and just placing that into our daily routines. Again, it’s not rocket science. I just got a bill, an invoice for one of our vehicles $4,300 And that is a big, fat, big ol fat. Ouch. No, it takes a it takes a lot financially to operate. Day to day, a funeral home and 10 locations a monument company evolved company a lot. And someone tagged me on a tic tock where this gentleman was actually really really funny. Making fun of funeral directors who take advantage of you under delicate circumstances, grieving circumstances. Oh, that tissues $2. I don’t know where that happened, or where it happens. And where and if it does happen. It’s absurd and stupid. And those individuals need to be called out. I’ve always said and tiktoks and Nathan Morse music, which I must say it’s last week. Oh my gosh, like 30,000 of you that joined in a few days. It’s wild. And Haley and Jacqueline and all the team members who are part of this. It’s not just Nathan Morris music that the Tick Tock person. There’s so many people that walk alongside me. But I don’t know where this started and on tick tock one day I said funeral directors are terrible cells. People mean we really are. It’s actually the last thing that we want to have to do is talk about money. We hate it. It’s awful. Because who wants to discuss that? Whenever your heart feels like it’s going to explode and sadness and there’s an elephant on your chest and your head hurts and your eyes are swollen from being up all night and crying. But we do become as we must, because there’s so many tasks that require us as Funeral Home establishments to write checks far in advance so that you and yours can have a comfortable experience, I’ll charge you for the tissues and never will, you know, I won’t charge you for bottles of water, I never will. I get the humor behind it, we have to, we have to lighten it up and lighten the room. But on a serious note, it’s I take it very seriously. Because as a leader, I don’t want anyone, any one of you to walk into one of our homes and to feel as if they’re going to be people that are mindful of an extra dollar. Because I’ll tell you right now, as we have managers meetings, and we sit around this table together, we that’s what we talk about. All we care for, after the fact that we’re caring for you so tremendously well is just making sure and noting how the purchase agreement is being covered whether it’s an insurance assignment, a check, cash, form of multiple a debit credit card, the end, because things do cost money, yes. And exemplary care. costs money, yes, but never will I, our team push node, would we be good at it, you to make an additional purchase. And our only thought is, is you do have to make some decisions that will require

the transaction of exchanging funds, we just wanted to create an experience where everything happens around a table, right? So you don’t have to go to the minister all the time or, you know, give the honorarium directly to them, you can place it on the purchase agreement, we write the check on your behalf. Or more than likely if you’re going to go to a cemetery and have a traditional burial or the cremated remains are placed in an urn. And you’re going to be placed at the foot of a grave I would presume that a monument or marker is going to exist so of course noble monuments exists at all of our homes, because a monument will be purchased. So you already feel comfortable with us and we’re going to make sure that it’s a lovely experience are as lovely as possible. Really. That’s our mindset. I love the humor, I love. I love the fact that people are starting to have a conversation and I want to make a very special shout out this moment to IV. IV, who has been with me for a very long time and a follower and supporter right I met her dad and unbeknownst to me she and unbeknownst to her he and I were meeting in regards to a project she let her father know I love that guy. Well IV Allah view which I then sent a video message to IV to let her know but I’m also saying it right here on no died trying episode 153 of season two that either you are honored and appreciated. And I thank you for your support. I really do. I was asked, What are you most insecure of? I am most insecure of my anxiety, my anxiety which prevents me from sometimes experiencing things truly, because anxiety for those who suffer from it is something to suffer from it is not people you being so dramatic? No, no. If you don’t experience it, you don’t understand it. So you can’t speak to it as someone who does suffering is what I would call it. You know, this idea that having to walk into a church filled with people before a wedding starts oh my gosh, now if I’m in control meaning if I’m the head funeral director or if I’m performing a show it’s my claimed environment. So what I do is totally off topic I already answered the question that’s one of my biggest insecurities is my anxiety but what I do is I get to a function bright and early so I claim my spot and so if you ever see me at a function that isn’t something that I am sort of hosting or or heading up you’re gonna find me side against the wall at a corner it’s not because I’m scared it’s just I’m claiming my spot I’m gonna stay there all night and once I get nestled in like a Robin that just laid some eggs. That’s where I’ll be and you can find me there. You can join me you can meet me there I’ll open the table up, push the chair out. I’ll stand up and shake your hand. Never gentleman ever shake another man’s hand while sitting down or a woman’s for that matter but always stand. That is what a true gentleman does. We’re coming off the tail end of a very, very busy week. A busy week always but a busy week in that there are only so many funeral directors. It’s a license. It is a an obtained state license in both Kentucky and Indiana Kentucky. You can be a funeral director and not an Indian Almer but in Indiana, you have to be both to be a single license right? This week has been very busy with multiple deaths, and everyone fulfilling roles and pivoting and pivoting and pivoting and pivoting. It’s literally what we call Dr. Carol calls the dance I mean, it changes in a moment’s notice. And it’s not because we’re not organized or not thorough or not prepared it is you’re getting in the hearse to drive to the cemetery with the funeral home that you now know will be empty aside from your office team. And a death occurs and someone needs to go attend to them. So then what you do as you pull from the office to have someone drive a vehicle just to get a vehicle to the cemetery so that one of the funeral directors can be pulled from the service to then go and care for intend to the deceased loved one and the family who are awaiting your arrival. pivot and pivot and pivot and Ross Geller says it best in that beautiful scene with the couch you pivot. You have to if you don’t, then you’re in trouble.

I thought I’d seen it all the other day. My grandmother’s funeral I haven’t spoken to too much. If you have sent condolences on Tik Tok, or watch the videos of me where grandmothers were posing or all the preparations or not announcing her death. I thank you for the condolences, the kindness the love that means and has meant so very much to me. And I thought I had seen it all. Whenever you are a funeral director you meet all walks of life. All there’s so many different religions and ethnicities and ways to honor and celebrate and you are a chameleon, you simply adapt. And I’ve learned a buku I’ve met a buku of people. I have loved every single second of it. Some of my favorite. Some of my absolute favorite are at our black gospel churches. You have 17 pastors getting up and speaking and speaking to the family and their hearts are exploding with passion for Christ and passion for the person and passionate for the congregation and passionate for the families and I being one of the only Caucasian male or female sitting in the back. I am accepted and loved and honored and appreciated. And if you have the African American community when it comes to death care, and they trust you because yes, there are Jewish funeral homes there are African American funeral homes. If the African American community trusts you, then they all trust you and I am honored that they have and do and those are some of my favorite to go to because there’s love and there’s celebration, and there’s worship. It’s really, really cool. So my grandma grandmother’s visitation on the day of her funeral, she was reposing at a Catholic church. And about 30 minutes before the funeral mass was scheduled to begin. The next thing I know is my brother Aaron is running outside on his phone. And there seems to be there’s this sense of commotion happening. I’m in the back of the church welcoming people just like I would at the funeral home. But now being at the church, I want to make sure all are welcome grandmother’s Memorial folders over here please sign her register book, the book. Well come to find out my uncle, who is a retired firefighter was having so we thought a heart attack who fell over who was caught as he was going down and was placed on the pew in the pew and was unresponsive. This point 20 minutes before grandmother’s funeral. Now the congregation gathering starts to widen the circle so as to allow for at this point EMTs and fire who also are EMTs which I was quick to tell them hey, this is my uncle and set his name and they being his brothers and sisters. were even more swift, I think to care for I am being looked at and looked upon by the priest and the music minister and all of the pallbearers and family and fellow funeral directors who are there to assist me and I am in my head saying, holy crap. Exterior wise I was very poised because best advice I was ever given in leadership. The leader is the least anxious person in the room. So I’m a duck above water I’m calm, cool collected floating along under the water I’m paddling like hell to figure out a solution. I believe that the way I was handling it being Center at this point it felt like this massive circle two sides of pews flanking i in the aisle, there are a circle forming of people and they’re looking at me and making sure Oh, if Nathan’s calm I’m calm while everyone stayed calm. My uncle was cared for by the way he did not have but could have had a heart attack thank God but my point is I thought I’d seen it all the churches the worship, the rolling and running up and down aisles and now my uncle tipping like, big oak tree, luckily caught tended to, and it will be a story for the books forever. Yes. And I could keep going like the time that a woman jumped in or attempted to her loved ones casket the casket almost fell over the casket was being held up. And yes, I almost fell over with a heart attack whenever all was said and done. It was scary.

touches a lot of points. But in the end, all of the roads intersect. Because if you are passionate about whatever you are doing and you remain passionate and intentional, then the intersections are a beautiful thing. And in the end relationships do matter stories do matter. You’re going to be remembered for something and choose kindness every single day.

Remember, it is not rocket science. Head over to you’ll die right this second record your intro to the show. There’s even a script right now. So

if you like butcher it, you can just keep redoing it, upload it and we’re gonna feature you and we’re gonna call you out and in a good way, of course, in a good way, and head over to Nathan Morris and grab some swag because it’d be awesome if you did and be sure to tag me at Nathan Morris music on Tik Tok and Nathan Morris on Insta and Twitter with you wearing that said swag because yes, there’s a cool T called words matter and they do. I appreciate you meeting me here at 153 I appreciate IV I appreciate everything. I appreciate the fact that you accept me for who I am because it is reciprocated my friend. Until next time for pushing paper. But you love it and you love something else. Push paper and do something else and be intentional but always do something that you were built to do because you were built to do it and that is what you should do. Always, always, always, always