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Ep 55 – You Asked Us

I think 55 has a fun ring to it. 55 When I was growing up, there was a speed limit commercial Drive 5555 Drive 55 beats not driving at all. And it was from the police department talking about how speed limits are meant to be taken seriously, and you will get your license revoked via 20 tickets. So, draft 5555 draft 55 beats not driving at all. Well, it worked.

Did you draft 55? No, but I remembered it. Okay. Yeah.

Excellent marketing.

It was excellent marketing. Apparently.

I have a recently in my adult years. Spectacular driving record. But up into my early 20s. I got a ticket every New Year’s Day, three years in a row. Why drift in three different states, just because one was in my mom’s neighborhood. When I went home for the holiday one was in Atlanta at the airport, which is not good to get a ticket on federal property might I add and I was one car in a lineup 10 cars speeding apparently through the airport. And the police officer when I asked why me said it’s your lucky day. And then I got one in North Carolina in the mountains on New Year’s Day. Three years in a row.

Are you in Asheville? I was I would fly through the mountains of North Carolina. Oh, yeah. A few years. I just didn’t drive on the right fund. Just weave in and out. Like you know how you take the inside lane when you’re turning? Yeah, you know, and you just go. I don’t know how fast I was going. Yeah, but I do know, this is episode 55. And I do know that I’m Nathan Morris. I know that I’m Jonathan Carroll. And you are you and we are grateful that you are here on this Episode Episode 55. To hear what we have to say it is your day trying. Dr Ma.

So today, in addition to some questions that have been sent to us that we will address and respond to, I wanted to talk a little bit about how good it feels to have some sunshine. And to know intellectually, that it is spring, even though I know it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, as they say, and that’s still you know, in the upper 20s, lower 30s at night. people’s attitudes change. Seasonally. Seasonal Affective Disorder, which we’ve talked a little bit about previously, we will again in the fall is a real thing. It’s a function of mild depressive disorder. And it really does impact lives. Darker, shorter days, cloudy or wetter conditions it changes how people think. And it’s not always so easy to overcome now though. Sunlight, mild days, Saturday window open, cleaning, feel the breeze, let the music play, get outside and dust off the patio equipment and the tables and chairs. It’s a wonderful, wonderful place to

be and then the following day it snows

that’s exactly weather that spring. Yeah, they say if you don’t like the weather, just wait a minute. Okay, so to honor our listeners in this our 55th episode, happy 50th But

happy 55th

We will be taking some some questions. It’s akin to a call in show although these questions are coming to us through digital formats rather than through the telephone. One question that a listener has in 40 years. What do you think people will be nostalgic for 40 years from now? I will be at three God I hope I make it. Oh my gosh,

they’re gonna be nostalgic. You’ll be like 50 and 43 years

if not years. Oh, I’m 43

I’ll be I’ll be 73 years young. I’ll be 83 Yep, I’ll be deceased.

What do you think our podcast technology will look like when When? When my daughter podcast

Carol I think what happened was that I think my hip who are you?

So in 40 years what will we be nostalgic for? I bet we’ll be nostalgic for cell phones I bet we won’t have these devices and yeah, there’ll be

implanted in our brain right and then we’ll like be tracked jostle our brains to to answer the phones

like the Island of Dr. Moreau.

Could you imagine? You ever see that movie? No.

Marlon Brando just gonna keep going like, I know I know your game. I’m on top of you. Okay. I mean, not literally. Yeah. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying, yeah, it’s not where we are right now. But Dr. Moreau played by Marlon Brando, I know I’ve talked about this had these kind of half man, half beasts. And he kept them under control because of a chip in their arm that when they kind of would act out, they would feel pain. And so one of them eventually rip the chip out and realize no pain, no law. I think that we will probably have our mobile devices implanted in us, maybe not in 40 years, but certainly, eventually,

but I’m right there with you will be nostalgic for our phones. I mean, think about how like CDs are falling. And that’s not that’s 20 years ago. Yeah, so maybe that’s not too far off. Right.

We will used to say that in 20 years, we would have floating or you know, floating cars. And like the Jetsons,

well, did you not see what Google there were some former Google employees that have this like undisclosed location, Casey Neistat flew that car. Yeah, the flying wasn’t really a car. It was like a flying thing. Yeah, it was a test flight. But nonetheless, 77%

of Americans polled are afraid of self driving vehicles. So I don’t think we’re at the point where we’re gonna be in hovercrafts anytime. So

we are already you know, the Tesla doing the autopilot.

Yeah, but it’s it’s not it’s not. I know, people are not comfortable with it. I am. Think about the stats of driver vehicles. Think about how many times your phone glitches, put that in charge of your car. And you’ve got some problems potentially, right? We’ll see. I’m not I’m not all about AI. Yeah. Good question. Why don’t you bring in another question?

This person asked what inanimate objects do you wish you could delete from existence? Ooh,

ah, same thing. Probably.

If I didn’t have my cell phone I would probably be I don’t want to say happier because it’s like you choose hapag piano, but I probably would be what inanimate and animate it helped me Dr. Carroll

inanimate Thank you object.

Do you wish you could delete from existence hangers? I hate them.

I sent Nathan a picture of hangers. They

didn’t respond to that. But I remember getting that and I was like, Oh my gosh, just to start your day was some it was like 20 or 637 in the morning, and there’s this pile of hangers.

For some people. It’s clowns, others it’s spiders. You don’t like spiders? But also hangers. Megan this morning? What if a hanger took the form of a spider? Right in front of you? I don’t know what I would do. What about Megan?

Megan this morning? Hands me she takes this shirt that she’s gonna wear off of the hanger and hands me the hanger to hang up. And she might as well give me a billion dollars and I gave her a hug. I said thank you because she normally puts it on top of the door or on the door knob for which catches my pants and then all hell breaks loose. Hangers get rid of them. What about you? He self he is in such deep thought he is staring off. And he wants to take this question very seriously. He is taking this question very seriously. To you who wrote it in? Thank you. And that’s all the time we have

but I’m just okay. Yeah, um, the thing that comes to my mind is is coasters.

I would picture okay, a coaster is it? Is it womanly or gentlemanly thing. You know, for someone like you and myself to like copper or

leather coaster, this But inevitably, in the nighttime, when I put my water on my nightstand. It’s dark, and it’s half on, and it’s half off. And half the time. I knock it off the nightstand and that really ticks me off. I believe I have a coaster. That wouldn’t have happened. Exactly. I have one is the this is a funny question. From one of our listeners. Is a hot dog. A sandwich.

This is gonna get a lot of response. I think. For those of you who are listening to this episode, please visit she’ll die trying.com or facebook.com forward slash she’ll die trying. Yes. And tell us what you think if this is real or not a sandwich I think it is not a sandwich. I think it is. It’s between bread.

meat and bread.

It’s not meat. It’s It’s

not me. That’s fair. It’s things okay, if you were arrested with no explanation, what would our wives first assume that we did? On the count of three let’s say hold on.

Hold on. I need to buy time say it again though.

No idea if we were arrested with no exponent What would our wives first assume that we did? Oh my gosh. On the count of three,

I’m nervous. I don’t know. Really? You? Yes. No, go

123 kill someone. Oh, no. That is fantastic is really funny. All right, sorry. That’s that’s what you know about us. What say another another question has been

Yeah, one actually came in earlier and said what’s the funniest business and our corporate screw up that you’ve ever heard of?

I heard of a guy once who got a cooler and had it installed without proper concrete leveling underneath it. cost him a little bit of money to get that fixed.

If you listened to a previous podcast episode, you’d know that he would be referring to me. And I did say is about a $1,500. Scrip is $1,560 script.

My favorite moment in any episode is when you and Megan were talking about things involving directness and honesty and Megan was like, I thought it was supposed to be that you’re supposed to be honest in your relationships direct and you did it out of love and, and you were like me, me she’s talking about me me is Nathan. Me. She’s so funny. Here’s a question that’s been sent into us which body part? Do you wish you could detach? And reattach and why? And we’re gonna make this you know, the G G version.

I think be really funny to detach your eyebrows and like lay them like, Mr. Potato Head. Yeah, just like put them on the table. Like, you know, you’re at a

dentures, eyebrows?

No, just yeah, that I definitely the eyebrows. That just makes me giggle.

What do you think? Is the function of eyebrows? Is it to protect things from getting into our eyes?

Probably. But I think eyebrows are very attractive they can be?

Well, this is what they say. In there’s an article that was written once about what makes specifically this article was about women. And it was like, these are the women who have been rated that like the most naturally beautiful women. And these of course, were women in Hollywood. So it’s, you know, and one of them was an actress named sila Ward, and they said it was her eyebrows. That distinguished her from all others. I love them. I do. What is a conspiracy theory that you would like to start? That would like to start

that the earth is flat?

There are you mentioned that before? There are oh yeah, that’s a real thing. There are flat earthers Yeah,

there are flat earthers

Speaking of which, if you haven’t seen the third installment of three in the How To Train Your Dragon trilogy. It’s fantastic.

Did you go see it? Yes. Cute.

Oh, yeah, we took our girls and we all loved it.

That’s awesome. Did

you cry? You know, I didn’t Okay. fully expected to but didn’t. But then I came home and watch this as us and then you cried waterworks

conspiracy theory that I would like to start that my shoes have magical powers. And everywhere that they walk. What’s the best kind of cheese? Thank you for saving me. Goose Gouda.

You like good?

No, I just like the word Gouda extra sharp cheddar for me. You know what? I used to hate blue. But I don’t know. I like leeches. Exactly. We talked about this. Hey, I want to hear what we never. Yeah, we did. We answered that one. What is

What’s the strangest thing a guest has done in your home? I have a great story about that.

That’s what I was reading. I have a really good one to jump cut. You want me to you? I walked around the corner one time. I’m just gonna be very vague, you know, walked around the corner one time and this person is kneeling on the floor with their eyes shut against the wall praying.

Wow. What did you do? What do you do? I turn around, let them finish. Yeah. In the same way that you would if a Rottweiler were? Well, that’s another that’s definitely another conversation. Joy has a great story. And so this is this is on her behalf. But this before we were married and she had a huge event where people were coming from all over the community to tour her home. And it was decorated for Christmas. It was immaculate was perfect. And volunteers from this women’s organization. Were going to be standing in various parts of the house escorting people through the house so they could see it and tore it and whatever. And one of the volunteers decided five minutes before the start that she was going to use the restroom on the main level, very near the front door. And when I say she used it, I mean she used it and it destroyed the the home in terms of voter Joyce is this real? This is a true story.

Did this person know they I mean,

this is a person who does whatever she wants to do when she wants to do it and then she did not care. And this meant a lot of extra work in the last wee minutes of that preparation time to tea Joy color out. I don’t know how that is. I

mean, it’s okay speaking if it was you that did that. I’d be like, dude, like you realize you just defaced property.

Yeah, I know. I mean, it was it was apparently really awful. So

oh, here’s one that someone sent in what would be the worst thing in your life that the American government could make illegal so that would I guess that would screw you up?

Personally? Yeah, that here’s the rephrase that they sent what could the American government make illegal that would screw you over personally? Funerals funerals earning income? Yeah. If that were made illegal, that would definitely screw there. Gosh, that’s a good question. That was Yeah. Oh, Lord.

I don’t know. income was yours. Are you trying to be fun?

Oh, now? No, I’m obviously not trying to be funny because there’s try or not try? No, no, there’s do or not do? Don’t try. What Yoda? There is try? No.

So did you. My query was did you answer the question? Or was that answer or

don’t do there is no, try. That’s what it is. But I wasn’t answering the question. I was just trying to. I didn’t understand any of that.

What’s invisible, that you wish people could see? Your soul? What do you what do you mean when you use the word soul?

When I say it from a Christian? Picture, that is my, how do I word that my Christian upbringing, my soul is within me. So the soul of oneself as in the body is I picture being housed, if you will, and I

keep going, I don’t go in. Because this is how a lot of people think and to systematically deconstruct it. So let’s

go. Sure. So this is not what I’ve been taught. It’s just not, it’s my mental, like, I pictured, like the most intimate place and within me that you want to protect the soul. And it’s being if you will, then once I my physical dies, that my soul, which contains my faith, and all of me, in not physical form. So a lot of trying to be a Bob Ross and paint this picture, but it’s terrible.

No, no, it’s nothing’s terrible in a Bob Ross world. For the trees, happy accidents. No, the soul for many, is that the kind of divine spark, or center that has the kind of God in you like, it’s where it’s the part of you that God owns and maintains, so that when you die, your body goes into the earth, or the urn, and your soul goes to be with God. Like that’s kind of how the Christian narrative has been shaped. It, it’s not entirely biblical, right. So I remember my seminary professor saying, never talk about this with your church people, because it’s very controversial. And it’s just going to make people mad and upset and uncomfortable. So as I told you before, my first week, in my first congregation, I was like, so let’s talk about what happens when you die, right? Only because I think the things we shouldn’t talk about are the things we most need to talk about. Our notion of soul, this idea that there is a part of us that goes to be with God, and the rest of us is kind of wasted material is not biblical. But it is very Greek. And so when we read scripture, and we read these texts about the soul, you can see the kind of what’s called HiLine, ik or Greek influence and how the Bible came to be. And so some of that pre Christian Greek philosophy has, by osmosis, culturally imbued itself into what now we would call a Christian historical theology. So that there are plenty of people who think that way, that when we die, our bodies go to the ground and our souls go to heaven. And I would say that a large majority of Christians think that that’s that’s actually what happens that the way another way to think about that, that I think is more integral to biblical history, is that the soul simply means anything that is alive The Latin parallel to that word is anime, a n i m e, from which we get the word animal, which simply means living thing. So the soul is all who live, the Psalm, say, Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord, the word there. everything that has breath is equivalent to the word soul. But in Hebrew, so if you are alive, that’s what soul means you live. And I think philosophically, we can think of the soul as being kind of the core of who we are, emotionally, intellectually, philosophically, psychologically, that it’s who we are. And I don’t believe that the soul is in any way separate from the rest of us. That Greek notion is what made its way to Rome, and in parts of the West, and that’s where you have this idea that, you know, in Rome, you would have people who are very, very, very sexualized. And they would do whatever, with whomever. And I know that doesn’t sound very strange, because I, you know, our culture is also very sexualized. And the idea there was, you can do what you want with your body, because it’s just waste material. It’s the soul that goes to be with God. So treat your body how you want, and, you know, trust that your soul will be taken care of. And then there was this whole idea of the immortality of the soul that way that it never dies. And, and so there’s still some of that, and how we talk about everlasting life and whatever, it’s complex conversation, but at the end of the day, we are who we are, the soul is not separate from the rest of us. And I think when we die, we die. What happens after that, I don’t know, there are two worlds, this one and the one to come, I believe in both, but I know nothing about the latter. And I know a lot about the former. So I’d rather not get caught up in the things of the world to come and concentrate here now instead. But that’s kind of how I think about so it’s what it means to be alive. Somebody once asked the church father, Iran as what is the glory of God, like we talked about this once, and he said, The glory of God as a human being fully alive. And I think that’s what it means to bear our soul is to be fully alive. So if your answer to the question, what would you most like to be invisible for other people to see? Or what is invisible that you would like for other people to see? And you said, the soul? You living your life fully? is a way to let other people see yourself? Hmm. It’s a long way around. But there we are. And wherever you go,

there you are. Well, I have a question that someone sent in. Let’s let’s let’s get this even more. Let’s get let’s go even deeper. What movie were you terrified of as a child?

That’s funny. Oh, gosh. Well, I know, my wife talks about this one all the time. And I have to admit, when I saw it, it freaked me out to jaws. Yeah, yeah. That’s when I was a child, though. How about you? You were a child after I was

Jurassic Park that scared you? And oh my gosh, when he’s in the porter pot, that the bathroom is sitting on the toilet, and I can still remember as a kid. And now when he gets eaten by the Tyrannosaurus Rex, so terrible, speaking of you said, going back talking about dying and you’re either put in the ground or put in the urn, did you see the Saturday Night Live skit leave me to learn? So I got the joke behind it is the Wonder Boys and myself tend to say, you know, I’ll say Hitler her year during nurturing from photographer lotions. And the the skit came out and it’s leave me a learn. So you have this urn filled with just dirt and you women, it’s preventing men from having unnecessary conversations with you. So you just carry this around. And so if you’re walking at the park, and some guy comes and talks to you, and you don’t want to talk to them, you can say, this is where dad always wanted to be and then like, Oh, I’m sorry, I’m at a funeral, you know? Yeah. And then she’s like, thanks. Leave me alone. Instead, I thought that when you say our,

that’s awesome. Anyway, that’s funny. Yeah. What we do want to encourage y’all to continue sending in your questions. Nathan, what is something that you believe you could be doing right now to improve your satisfaction and quality of life, something that you could be doing but that you don’t do?

Give myself 30 minutes alone. I don’t want to say twice a day. Yep. But did not not just right after work whenever I get home and I’m unwinding, but yeah, a couple times a day, having literally 30 minutes to myself. What would you do with that time? Whatever. Put the device As a way and reflect whether I’m reading the book or or pour a cup of hot coffee, and I sit, because I like, I’ve realized I really enjoy quiet. Nice to not used to be scared of it. We’ve talked about that, but I actually really enjoy it sitting at my desk and just kind of thinking looking around being grateful. Because I think in silence, you can experience gratitude. Yeah, appreciation for like, what you have like looking around this room and seeing, you know, what we’ve done together. And you know, what we can do together? Yeah, yep. Ooh, that got cold. I think we have the aircon. Ah, oh, I

feel cold air.

That means ladies and gentlemen, that it’s spring. The heat is not on because it’s warm out. And the sun is beaming on my face right now.

But in these old buildings, it’s hard because it’s gonna get cold at night. And you can’t turn the boiler back on. Because it’s a massive piece of equipment. And it’s like, now it’s cold. Or it’s like in the fall, it’s super hot.

There’s literally no in between here. It is freezing. Or you’re miserably hot. You’re dying. Yeah.

If I could tell you if I had a penny for every time I had a church member complaint about the temperature of the sanctuary? I would I would I would have retired Well,

what would you have done? I mean, what do you do? You couldn’t you couldn’t say anything and do anything because you’re the pastor. But didn’t you just want to be like, Okay, let me just go to the thermostat and fix it just

for well, we put a box on it with a lock on it good because everybody would go because they all think they own it because it’s quote their church. And so, so they treat the pastor to like, we own him. Let’s, you know, go make him do this or that. One final question. If you didn’t do anything that you’re doing now, what would you do? If you weren’t a funeral director? You weren’t in business? Like you are right now. What What would you be doing instead?

In LA? Music executive? Okay. Yeah, I would have been in the boy band. I would have written you know, done that. Okay. Yep.

What about you? Same been involved in,

we’ve been in the boy band together?

No, I don’t. I didn’t have any machinations of that. Instead, I think I would be. Well, I started out kind of in the medical

trajectory. So you would have been a doctor? Doctor?

Yeah, the kind that actually helps people. Worse, that’s farce. Yeah, I probably would be in the medical field, or I would be a writer, the kind of James Patterson, or Daniel steel writer, where they just kicking out books, you know, it’s just amazing. These people, how do they? They have

a team? Yeah, there’s no way for someone to have any type of existence to be able to pump out that many books.

I mean, multiple books a year, that’s hard to imagine that you would get up, have your coffee, sit down and start writing and then all of a sudden, three months. It’s done. It’s an art cover, and you’re on the next one. Like, I don’t know how that works. Yeah. But I know that people in that position do have teams. I’m

watching this movie. That’s called Molly’s game. You heard about Molly groom or Chris. Like the skate the skier that started legalized poker. Yeah, I’ve heard about it using it. Yeah, she was arrested by FBI. I’m halfway through I turned it off. So I don’t recall her.

What do you 90? I know that’s embarrassing movie. No, I don’t want to talk about that. That’s we need to do next next episode. We need to talk that’ll be that’ll be something I’ve appreciated this time. This is with you. Yeah. So you know, always be curious. My friends. Always be passionately and intellectually curious. Ask yourself questions, and ask questions of others. It’s a wonderful way to, by the way in marriages and other relationships, to form bonds of emotional intimacy, to ask questions, ask questions, they don’t have to always matter, but they will always lead you somewhere and they will bring you closer. And that underground tunnel that connects your heart to the heart of another person gets more find an easier to travel so that in those thinner, leaner times and seasons, you can still access one another because you have done the work of creating that road map that leads from your world to theirs because you’ve been interested in curious and you’ve learned there’s no such thing as boring unless you are boring. Only boring people get bored. Show interest ask questions get to know each other.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming time and time again to listen to Dr. Carolyn. Myself, be sure to visit you’ll die training.com Please leave a five star review because I think this was a five star episode although I don’t think that the hot dog is a sandwich just saying

and make sure you visit us, Facebook Instagram send us an email if you have any questions. Leave us a note on Facebook and also don’t forget the hotdog is in fact a sandwich. Thanks for listening Hi, I’m Jonathan. I’m Nathan