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Ep 72 – You Humble Us

that’s probably a disservice that it’s in the business category of podcasting. Yeah, we

need to change that.

But I mean, there isn’t a genre or category that would work I think for us. Yeah, I wonder if we can add, add one zone. Can you imagine how many there would be if you could do that?

Like, hey, there was a guy that I found out love to Japanese show found out that there wasn’t a podcast for it an American and he it was a Japanese sitcom or something. And he started a podcast specific for this Japanese show. And it’s really niche or niche. Very nice. And he has a nice following. Very nice. Yeah.

Well, I had some fun conversation about our podcast recently that I’m going to share with you but first, I’d like for Brent lane to get his two cents in which are worth far more than that. So take it away Brent.

So this past weekend, Joy’s cousin celebrated his wedding which he and his now new wife enjoyed at Bora Bora, and came back and had the reception for family and friends which was held at the Willett distillery Willett bourbon distillery in Bardstown, Kentucky. They have a brand new event space, it was fantastic. They had great food there was a harpist open bar, a couple of premium and, and exquisite cocktails made kind of for the event. It was really nice. We and then we went back to the family house up in Louisville for a dinner that night, and it was really casual played water, Paul, because, you know, his beer pong but with water. Because I think everybody had had plenty of break at that point was Baptist or No, no, no, this is a wonderfully eclectic group. Theologically speaking, some Roman Catholics, some non practicing folks, some spiritualist is a wonderful group. But anyway, it was at that event that I learned of the eclectic mix of people who are listening to our podcast, and I couldn’t believe that these people are listening like Joey’s cousin who just got married. They showed a video of their pictures from Bora Bora. And I said to him, man, I’m addicted to your pictures. And he’s like, that’s okay. I’m addicted to your podcast. That was like what I had full body chill all that off. Really? It’s like, yeah, we’re listening to it. We’re newly married. We’re finding some of this stuff really interesting. We like to stop it and talk about things that you’ve talked about. And I thought, Man, that is so humbling, so humbling. Well, then it turns out other people are too and one woman. Anna, who I’ll talk about in a minute said that she had a driveway moment the other day when she was having a bad day was listening and just stayed in her car and listened to whatever it was we were talking about. And she said that she found it helpful, man. I couldn’t believe it. It was the sweetest, kindest thing. So I want to give a special shout out to those. The bridal party I guess we would say the newly married Jimmy and Alicia and all the people who were there the carpenters in the Sullivans, and all the friends from Mississippi, Ohio. It was just a beautiful group of people and it was really, really humbling. So thank you for listening to our podcast, one of them. Anna, whom I mentioned earlier, who is best friends of the bride lives up in Northern Kentucky Cincinnati area and is a she works for Delta jets, she said in nursing school, but she’s also going to be she’s a comedian. Oh, like full on comedian and she has been on and will be on a podcast soon about movies. And it’s I think his name is Doug Benson. And it’s like movies with duck or something like that. I asked her and I still can’t remember. I’m sorry. You know, we’ll fix that but we’re gonna have an on our podcast too. She’s really really funny. She’s very smart. Good friend, and we’re I’m looking forward to having her come down from Northern Kentucky and be featured on our podcast. You’ll love her.

That’d be really awesome. And I do have to say, in regards to that story the other day I was texting Brent, about going somewhere and I autocorrected to Bora Bora. Who’s funny that you say that? I’m not going to Bora Bora. I think I was like going to the bathroom. I don’t know. Somewhere not Bora Bora. Right.

Did I die is no.

Yeah, that’s very true. So yeah, I want to go there one day. To best but

yeah, there’s one on South fredrica. Here just away. Yeah. I’d like to go there, too. They have incredible pictures of their wedding there. It’s just the two of them. And, man, what a what a wonderful, wonderful thing for them. They’re great, great people, too. I mean, so thoughtful, have had such great life experiences. And they’re just fun to be around. Yeah. So we are looking forward to throwing a party for Joyce family and having all of them come back this time to Owensboro. Not to Louisville to our house and celebrate each other because it’s it’s crazy, not to the great people. We don’t see him enough.

Yeah, we want to thank you once again, as Dr. Carroll said, for listening all of you for listening, please be sure to like us on Facebook, actually open your app in which you listened to us and give us a five star review. Tell a friend telephony about us visit you’ll die trying calm because if you download the anchor.fm app, what can they do? Dr. Carol, they can leave us an anchor

voice message, which is pretty phenomenal. You go to anchor.fm, go to the voice messaging and you can send us your voice in a message where you can tell us a joke, ask us with something that you want us to talk about, do an impression of anything that you can anything that you will, we would love to hear from you. And we get a notification about it, which is kind of fun.

Or we might actually feature that in an upcoming episode, which would be awesome. So please visit anchor.fm forward slash you’ll die trying and download the anchor.fm mobile app.

And just so y’all know, like the fact that we really do take these reviews seriously that Nathan is always, always talking about. I had the privilege of and really for the first time of reading some of the reviews that we’ve had. And I don’t know most of these people. But they’re really lovely. If you go on for me on iTunes, on the podcast app, you can scroll down to the bottom of all the available episodes. And that’s where the reviews are. That’s where you’d leave your five star review. And you can leave a rating five star rating, you can read review. But people have said such wonderful things. Excellent podcast, I especially enjoyed the dynamics between the two facilitators. And the takeaways. I’m grateful for and learn something from every single encounter or situation, learn something new and take it away every time I listen. Excellent podcast. I love listening. This is really sweet. I had never seen these. Yeah. And some of these date back, you know, to later last year and some some now. So lovely. I mean, just beautiful. There’s also one on here by a guy named Gray. Gray, speaking of Best Buy works at Best Buy, really. And when I met him, he told me he is a podcaster. I told him about our podcast and he started listening. And so gray to you. I’m sorry, it’s taking me so long to shout you out. However, we’re bringing you on our podcast because this guy’s smart. And he’s funny, and He’s witty. And I learned that just from when I was there buying our phones, so we’re going to get great.

Thank you very, very much. Absolutely. That is awesome. Well, we are also we want to take a minute this is great. This is something that I’m really excited. I know Dr. Carroll is excited about we are doing this episode and it will be coming to you on YouTube you will be able to watch this episode as well. After you listen to it on your listening device. You will be able to go to youtube.com forward slash you’ll die trying. I think that’s our cast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you’re gonna be able to watch this and you’re gonna be able to see that Dr. Carroll looks incredible. And I look like a you University of Kentucky. Rupp Arena. Volunteer ticket special

because you show me my seat. Yes, you’re gonna go up there and

they’re gonna go lift. But I am wheelchair bound. I’m sorry. We do not have elevator.

So we are video on YouTube. And at this point in the podcast, if you’re not watching, but you’re listening, we’re going to to give a special wave. So that’s a special little nugget for all of you who are actually watching if you’re not watching and you’re listening. Please do watch. Just don’t do it while you drive.

Yeah, that was good. That was a good public service announcement. We’ll be diving into today Dr. Carroll, it’s

up to you. Oh, this one’s on you better. Alright.

Thanks for listening. Guys. You have a great day.

This is you’ll die trying.

You know I want to dive in. I want to talk about we’ve talked about ruts a little bit in previous podcast but I want to talk about like loving where you’re at. Right? I mean, like embracing. Who was it on right here. Look says embrace the suck.

That’s pretty good Goggins.

Does he say that? Oh, well, TJ wrote it. So I guess TJ is a David Goggins listener

or just had a similar kind of Revelation. Yeah, yeah,

I think we need to, I think we need to brace the fact that man thinks kind of can suck sometimes. Right?

They do. Yeah, I think that it is easy for us to want to quickly dismiss that those things that suck because, well, they suck. And they’re hard. And I think we do tend to equate hard with bad. And so we want to get rid of it. Because we want to get back to the good and maybe even the easy. However, most of the the character and integrity and beauty and rightness and goodness that we experience in the world has been forged from things that are hard. So as I say, so many times a week, just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s hard. And we need to do our very best to try to gather up something from it. There is a poet named Billy Collins, who’s written a poem about poetry. And he writes about how poems often are like, they’re like, brought in like, like, if you’re teaching poetry, it’s almost as if this class of young minds, straps this poem down into a chair and beats it with a rubber hose trying to force it, to give up the truth of what it means, right. And I think that we would do wise to let poetry be what it is, and kind of let it speak to us as it is. And in the same way, I don’t think that we need to tie down our experiences and beat them in order to learn something from them. Some have them cough up some some truth or some information that we need, I think the best thing we can do is be observant, and be patient and really ask what is it about this experience, however horrible it is, that could teach me something? What is it that I need to learn? Now?

I think it’s good to ask yourself that question. It’s funny, because if it is hard, doesn’t mean it’s not. It’s just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s not right.

It does, right. It doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s bad. It doesn’t mean make it wrong. There we go. So And normally, the harder thing is the writer,

right. And I used to think for the longest time that it was hard, it felt wrong. You know, this is so hard. It’s not supposed to be this hard. It used to be this must be wrong, this, I need to go in another direction. I need to, you know, surround myself with different people or whatever. Yeah, and I think that’s very important to be mindful of,

I think we always have to question our assumptions. And that would be one of those assumptions. Who says that just because it’s hard, it makes it wrong, you know, like, for instance, marriage, or seeming other kind of relationship that people I think get into and ultimately discover. Marriage is hard work? Yes. Right. And that typically is said, Well, I won’t say typically, but that is often said, by people who are having a negative experience of that of that work. Yeah, I think it’s powerful to acknowledge that, yeah, being in a loving, committed, faithful, kind and forgiving relationship is hard. Whoever said that it wouldn’t be, but the payoff is exquisite. Right? So rather than take one’s relationship, and and extract from that one kind of punctilious moment, one point in time, that might be difficult, and say, well, this whole relationship isn’t worth it, because we need to take the long view. So to me being present to the moment, which I think is what you’re talking Yes, means also having perspective that that all of life is made up of a chain of those moments. So I want to be present to this one. And I want to be present to help this one impacts the next one, and the next one, so that I can see that long view. Otherwise, in a bad moment, without perspective, I could just cut and run, right? But when you think this moment is a.in, a long line that extends out into the eternity that this relationship makes. It isn’t defined by this. This is just a moment and I meant just just a moment and it will pass I saw someone who had a tattoo this past weekend one of our family memory

interrupt here, okay, because he’s pointing at his ankle and I thought you were gonna say they had a an ankle brace for the Iran monitor.

I thought you’re like a home house or

house arrest. Sorry to interrupt, but

yeah, like, Okay, our tattoo says this too shall pass. I think that’s, that’s a pretty, pretty fantastic message to have. So I want to be present to the moment and I want to be present to how this moment connects me to all the other moments. That kind of perspective keeps me humble and hopeful.

I want to talk about A little bit about destination, I find myself always striving to reach a destination. And then when I get to the destination, I’m like, Hmm, know what? And the thought of enjoying that journey as a business person and growing and I’m getting to a point. I mean, I think I’ve made a point. But I’m going to also share with a story is paramount. It’s so important. I looked in the parking lot the other day at Haley McGinnis, it’s one of our larger homes and we had a large parking lot, and it’s just riddled with our fleet throughout the parking lot under the port of call a fleet, ladies and gentlemen, meaning our removal vehicles, our limos, our SUVs, our horses, I mean, we have 18 vehicles, looks like a car lot. And today, I’m like, That’s awesome. So my point is, this journey that we’re on my goal is our goal is 15. Now I want to do 20 locations, but 15 locations by tooth by 2020. Right, then with all that you have new staff and all these, the fleet and it’s just, the journey is super fun. I’m having a really, really good time. And for those of you who are on your journey, but you’re not to your destination, once you get to your destination, you’re going to say now what, so enjoy, where you’re at, and the you know, the running around and, and just enjoy it.

In my mind, the the journey is the destination. I tend not to think of ever having arrived somewhere, even going on a trip, like okay, now here we are, you know, we’ve we’ve landed and it’s, it’s it’s no, no, we’re now we’re looking forward to what’s about to happen. Like landing in an airport doesn’t count as having a great trip, right? That just means you’ve gotten somewhere there are people

out there like excited just to land in the airport, there will be people who will

tell you they visited all these places. And really, they were like, just lay overs just in the terminal. Like I’ve been in every state, although they were I’ve never been out of an airport. But that’s fine, whatever. But I don’t tend to think of a destination. I never think I like to ask people all the time. What is it that you see as true in your life five years from now, 10 years from now, if you could look into the window of your home in 10 years, who’s around the tree at Christmas, right? That’s just kind of that moment in time, I tend never to think what do I want to do? What where do I want to be? What’s my final place? I don’t speaking of which I don’t think I will ever really retire.

Know, you’re going to be sitting in your therapist chair. And you’re going to have your pen and you’re gonna say tell me more about that. And then you’re just gonna slump over. You’re gonna be like, tell me more about that. And then they’re gonna just think your client is just gonna think oh, he’s just relaxing. Oh, he’s sleeping. I’m boring. So dead.

Is that person?

Yeah. Could you imagine?

I think that probably happens.

Taller, fling you down, and I just started doing CPR.

Thank you. I would I would clearly need it. Yeah. I don’t think that there is a biblical or theological rationale for retirement for people who are inclined in that direction. I don’t think from a mental and emotional health perspective that there’s much to say about retirement because I know so many people who retired early, and they basically have lived in depression ever since. Or they have died earlier deaths. You know, and I don’t know what the connection is there. I just know there are a lot of people who retired and then they died. And that’s really sad of all ages, really. I like the idea of people being able to scale back, spend more time with their children, grandchildren, of course, more importantly, even their spouses, spend some time developing and cultivating hobbies, may there’s playing golf or an instrument or traveling. That’s wonderful. But in terms of just turning it off and taking the key out of feeling like you are contributing to the world and important way. Whether you want to do that as a volunteer on a paid basis. I don’t care. But I think doing nothing is ultimately harmful for us Adam at an intellectual and emotional psychological level.

My Uncle David, he is incredible. He retired, I believe I could be wrong. 57 Something like that. And he worked at this place for 35 years and built up an incredible retirement, retired and literally within like a month he had another job because like I’m bored. Sure. Then he retired from that job at 60. And then he was bored and then he started flipping houses. Yes. I mean, if you find what you love, yeah, just just know who society says and then all your financial planners and we’ve met with a few of them and I’m not dogging those of you of my friends that haven’t met With me in regards to financial planning, I think it’s great. But society says retire at 6065. And like, this is how much money you need to save. If you want to retire, then like, don’t just do what you love

as long as you can. That’s why I think it’s so important that we never take anything for granted. Right? I think that we are as a people typically pretty oblivious to the beauty of what it means to be healthy. You know, it has been said, your health is your wealth. And it’s 100% True. It does not matter what you have, when you when your health begins to tank, it changes everything,

Oprah Winfrey in like, 2006 for I don’t remember this, I’m getting. I’m watching the show. And she was talking to one of our guests, and she was talking about health. And she was like, don’t we just take for granted. And this sounded stupid at the time, but I’ve taken it with me that you can literally, you know, go to the restroom and use your facilities on your own. There’s so many people who can’t. And like, it’s funny, because we only appreciate our health when we’re sick. It’s like, oh, I don’t feel good. Oh, we should feel better. Oh, I’m so glad I’m healthy and happy once you’re up healthy, and then you forget about it again.

Exactly. That’s exactly what I’m saying. We take it for granted salutely. And as a result, when I don’t think that we are as grateful as we could be. And I know that there are people who tend to kind of slough off the notion that gratitude is an attitude that changes things for the better. But I can’t say enough about how that kind of positivity really does literally change your life. When you come at things from a perspective of gratitude. Even for instance, we were talking about this phrase, embrace the suck. What about the situation I’m in? Can I be grateful for it changes everything. Think of something Nathan, you specifically, that has happened to you, let’s say relatively recently, that you can talk about that has been hard. Whether it’s been a business decision, or a business opportunity that didn’t materialize or the departure of someone like say something about something that’s just been hard. Just an example, one

of our locations was having a very difficult third and fourth quarter of 2018. Very hard, it was very, very hard because decisions had to be made internally to transition and to move maneuver people around resources, reallocate resources, move people around like chess pieces. And we’ve never had to do that before. Because we were one location for the longest time. And here we are not five, we’re just moving people. And that was so hard for hard. Yeah, the great thing about it, that I learned and realized is we have an incredible group of people, the people that were reallocated, stepped up

and have begun to shone like the sun, yes, they began

their flourishing. And also I’ve realized that I’m a good leader. And, you know, people sometimes would say that I’ll put the cart before the horse and, and all these things. And you know what? No, because I am four steps ahead of you that you might think I’m putting the cart before the horse set. So those are that was a very difficult third, fourth quarter.

Those were sad days,

I’m very proud to say that absolutely turned, you know, for the better and everyone is flourishing, every the location is flourishing, and we’re, we’re back on track.

So what are you grateful for about having to live through that

I am grateful, because I, I’m grateful for our people. I’m grateful for the knowledge to be able to make those decisions. And I’m grateful to realize that I actually am a good leader and the team that helped me, you know, you specifically and, you know, Megan, and helping us really figure out this. So that’s what I’m grateful for. What about you? What’s something that you had to recently go through?

Oh, well, there’s there are some things that I have to do work related, that involve the judicial system, where I have to represent a child, for instance, in a in a custody evaluation case, or I might have to work with some kind of a highly conflictual parents who are not together but have to co parent and try to help them do that peacefully for the child’s sake. And it’s hard. It’s difficult, especially when you have to write a report and submit it to judges and attorneys, and you become very scrutinized. But the reality is, it’s just hard to listen to the things that have been spoken in this report. So doing that sometimes, it just gets me down because it just makes me think that the the justice system sometimes is self protective. And I think it doesn’t always stand up and speak out on behalf of those who don’t have a voice and who really need to be heard because it becomes a game it becomes theater between the most kind of colorful or loquacious of the representative Council. And recently I’ve had a difficult case and it was hard I lost sleep a lot of nights over this case because it involves you know, some difficult circumstances and finally, you know, finished it well. What I’m grateful for, though, is that I, my perspective, as hard as it was to be the only one to stand up and say, I think this is what’s happening in this world of these, this family, other people had then begun to see it too. So whereas I felt like I was standing out on my own on a very thin limb, now others have come around and say, oh, yeah, we, we totally agree, which is, it’s helpful. I don’t typically look for validation in the work world, but this is one where you kind of need to because it involves people’s lives and, and custody and that kind of stuff. So I’m grateful for the difficulty of that, because it made me aware that standing up for in this case, specifically standing up for any child is, while difficult, absolutely necessary. And I would do it again. 1000 times the same way. Kudos to you, man. No. And I think about that in relationships, you know, getting where, where I am now with joy and with our family, you know, it’s their broken roads that we travel, but I do it a million times to get where I am so grateful for it.

Ladies and gentlemen, we always appreciate what you bring to this life and how you listen and, and and share this this podcast, I want to challenge you don’t say this week, I can’t wait for insert like, enjoy where you’re at, enjoy it, enjoy the drive, enjoy the challenge, enjoy the monotony, maybe. Because with those things comes, I think, what’s the word I’m looking for the like an aha moment. An epiphany, there you go an epiphany. So enjoy where you’re at, stop saying I can’t wait for and just appreciate where you are.

Another thing to go along with that I think, to spin this whole be present in the moment with gratitude is to change language from I have to do something to I get to do something that that we’ve talked about that once before that that language shift. Language matters, the words we use matter. And when we say I have to go to the grocery, there is a sense of obligation a sense of oddness a sense of duty of, you know, requirement, and it’s different than when you say I get to

instead of dumpster diving with for their next year on the job, you know, no joke, right?

But when Yeah, exactly. There are there are there are people who would love to have the freedom to leave work and go to the grocery and fill the cart and take it home and feed your kids or people who don’t get to do that at all right? You’re exactly right. So not only that perspective, but also, when you get when you when you say out loud to yourself, I get to do this, you’re saying there there is an opportunity that awaits me how many of us go to the grocery expecting something incredible to happen. I would venture to say, a small percentage of us, if any at all. And yet, every time we encounter people, there’s always the possibility that something incredible can happen. It’s all about what we’re looking for, what we anticipate what we expect and what we want. And if we poured ourselves into that, we would need a destination because every moment is its own destination and it creates this long line. That is the journey. And we don’t care really where we’re going. Because every moment. We’ve already gone somewhere. And it’s beautiful, and it’s wonderful, and we’re paying attention to it.

Well, I get to leave here today and go and be with you and all of our amazing staff.

Yes, I know. That’s exciting. Yes, it is. And I get to come back here soon and do this again.

That’s awesome. Ladies, gentlemen, I am Nathan Morris.

I am Jonathan Carroll. This is you’ll die trying episode number

72.

That’s awesome. That’s crazy. Until next time