Ep 73 – Videos and Stuff

There we are. Hi. How’s it going?

Good. How are you?

Um I think I’m good. Good. Yeah, I’m good.

My stand we’re gonna invest in some new stands like Peter McKinnon, Joe Rogan, they’ve got these stands that are awesome. These are all for God. Look at that.

Yeah, we’re gonna need to it’s okay. Except some sponsorships for that. Yeah, that’s there’s no moolah.

There’s no we’re so broke

no moolah in the bank of that. It’s okay for ytt It’s okay. We want

to thank our sponsors, though, however

you’d like our mugs. Yeah. Those of you on YouTube you can see them forward slash you’ll die trying podcast.

I need to look that up. Yeah, you should. I

think that’s right. And you can actually watch this podcast in that weird you’re not really watching a podcast you listen to a podcast but for those of you who do listen to a podcast thank you so very much be sure to give us a five star review. Please share this podcast please also consider downloading the mobile app so you can leave us a voice message.

You’ll die trying is what it says.

ls you’ll die try we’ll go to forward slash you’ll die trying to watch us Yeah, just search for yeah trying us meaning I’m Nathan Morris.

I’m Jonathan Carroll you are you and we are grateful that you are here with us today on this 70 episode of you’ll die try yeah of you’ll die trying. You’re trying you’re trying to bright we help us thrive. Good, I like that. So it’s always hard to follow the jingle because it just gets you in such a Yeah. Good mood.

It really really does. Am I gonna get mood? Yeah, overall anyway.

Yeah, typically I am. And that that’s true today, too. You’re never in a bad mood. There are days when I’m in a less than happy mood. I’ll say there was one

day last week that you had to apologize for coming in. It was it was Monday.

Yeah, I was. I was exhausted. Yes. And I just had a lot on my plate.

And you are not. I don’t want to say in a good spot. Because like that’s,

I was I was kind of bummed you felt sorry for you a little bit. I needed another day off. Yeah. But you know what? Push through it. Yeah. Well, today’s great day. Yeah, it’s a great day. Today is a really, really good day. Yeah. What is it that you’re going to die trying?

I’m going to die trying to make a decision on what I want to eat for lunch for once. Sounds really stupid to most of you. Probably everyone listening and Doc Carroll is nodding his head. However, it is a very difficult thing for me to look at a menu or to make a decision on something as small as what I want for lunch. Why is that? I don’t have a clue. Well, I do have a mild form of dyslexia from the standpoint of reading a menu. It is it’s like anxiety on a paper for me. For those of you who suffer from dyslexia, you will understand for those of you who do not when you see me staring at a menu, you’re gonna be like You’re an idiot. No, I’m not. It’s just hard. words literally go like this together. Sure. It’s hard numbers. Forget about it.

Menus are tough, because oftentimes, they are difficult to read fonts. On top of other difficult to read fonts with very little spacing between the lines. It I can see where somebody who might struggle would struggle even more. So with that in that context. Yes.

So for those of you who go to like Mexican restaurants, so there’s literally a 17 page book on what to get. No, it’s not happening. Anyway, I think that that spills over into other decision making. Yeah, right. That’s what I’m gonna try and do and be better about that.

I really, really like eating out at restaurants. And I know that it I know, I know what you’re all thinking. I know that it is expensive for MC who’s listening is mad at you. And I know beans and rice, rice and beans but you know, hey carb city and secondly, I also know that it’s not as healthy because you don’t know what’s going into your meal and when you prepare meal at home, you know everything that goes into it as long as you’re cooking with fresh ingredients. If your hamburger helping it, then it’s it’s probably safer to eat at a restaurant. In any event. I do love it. there that is, um, no, I’m not talking about McDonald’s and Chick fil A. Although now that I’ve mentioned what time it is kind of craving it. Yeah, almost got it this weekend coming back one in the morning McDonald’s coming back from Louisville. 1230 in the morning are starving, but I didn’t do it. Later I told Joe and she’s like, it’s probably good that you didn’t because if you had said something I would have been all in. It’s like, dang, I should have but you are literally all about that. Yes. But anyway, I like eating. Now. I like the experience. I like interacting with table servers, because they oftentimes tend to be very, very interesting people who are not encouraged, especially in chains, which I try not to eat and change. But I do like Texas Roadhouse, they are encouraged by their management staff not to talk very long at tables, because hey, there are other tables, but I think it’s a great experience to get to know people. I met some really great people. Plus, when I eat Mexican restaurants, I try to just use my Spanish. Really, yeah, that’s fun to do.

Well, what do you what are you going to die trying to do right now?

I’m going to die trying to right now, what’s on my mind When you ask that is I’m going to die trying to be the most disciplined person that I can be across all categories in my life. Whether that’s physically, whether that’s involving eating, and diet, meaning, you know, not a diet, but one’s diet, what you eat, decision making, which I want to come back to work, schedule, marriage, family, I want to be disciplined. That’s what I want to dad trying to do. And as my obit will probably say, he died trying to be disciplined in and failed miserably.

Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna put in your obituary. Thank you. Yes, you’re very welcome.

So I want to come back to this decision making thing right. So do you find decisions to be hard to make across the board? No, do you tend to be an indecisive person? No,

that does not define me and decisiveness. Which is interesting, because they’re just specific things like what else besides Okay. Recently, we had a meeting to talk about potentially bringing someone on or not bringing someone on and the part of my brain was like, you know, what? Invest in people give opportunity, give opportunity to be let down, I guess. And we’re running into that a lot more as our as our staff gets young, younger, I guess. Yeah. So that was not, I wouldn’t say I guess I would call it an indecisive moment. That’s why I bowed out. Yeah. And you all came up to the came to the conclusion you came to, which is the best decision. But those are things that I’m indecisive about other things like, you know, making sure this is done. And that is done, like, get it done. Do that that needs to be done. And there’s like decisive moments, but I don’t know. And isn’t that an odd thing? If you’re indecisive about a couple of things? Doesn’t that customarily make you indecisive about everything?

I don’t think so. I think if you were to look at the specifics over that example, it involves people, it involves some degree of potential controversy. Because there is, you know, saying no to someone, even if you’re not the one having to say it, there’s still some, there’s some IQ in there, right? It’s a little little negativity. I mean, by nature, that word no, is negative. So I don’t know if it’s because of that, or because you maybe don’t feel like you have all the information that you need in any given moment. And so it’s like, oh, I don’t feel like I can make an informed decision. Because I don’t have all the information, but we have to make a decision. And so I don’t know, I’m there are probably 300 other options out there. But I know what you’re talking about. I was in that meeting, and I tend to be the opposite. And I don’t think either one is good, bad, right? Wrong, obviously. But I tend to be pretty, pretty decisive about that stuff. Like I like to make a clean cut. And either it’s gonna happen or it’s not gonna happen. But it’s, I’m not really into a lot of gray like, hey, let’s give it a try. Let’s work it out. Let’s say we’re going to do it for this long and I mean, there are times when that is helpful, and I will do it but that’s not my preference. My preference is clean cut, let your Yes be Yes. And your no be no right kind of thing. You hire character.

You train skill. Right. And that’s that’s fact I mean, that you can and those are things I tell myself and that I think is a I think it’s a good quality to recognize what you’re not good at.

Yeah. I wonder why. We don’t spend more time thinking what aren’t we good at right? And then deciding what to do with that. Are we going to VA, let’s work on our strengths type of person are we going to be let’s work on our weaknesses kind of person, or both, or neither? I’m sure there are other options or

work on your strengths. I think you’d be mindful of your weaknesses and then figure out what you could be better at. And then what you just need to delegate out.

Right? Right. I do think focusing on your strengths is probably the best from a leadership or entrepreneurial perspective, I think that’s probably the best, the best thing to do, because there are always going to be other people who can come in and support and complement you in your particular strengths or weaknesses. In graduate school, they call them growth areas or growing edges. And I think that we are better off just focusing on what we know we’re good at, like you always say, if you can’t sing, don’t be in the choir. Do what you’re good at. Yeah. So

I think your your business where you’re at it flourishes. I mean, your your buy in your, your growth, everything is better, whatever. There are people that are actually playing their strengths playing where they love to play.

Yep. The end. I agree. So anyway, but tell me is the decisiveness thing at restaurants, primarily about the reading thing of the menus?

Maybe? I mean, I don’t think so. I was at El Brasero. Yesterday. Alibre Sarah, yep, better way of saying that means our server was incredible. She was awesome. She wore a bow tie. And she was very quick to take care of, and we have all three kids with us too. So it was just a disaster. You know, salsa everywhere. There’s like a little girl at the other booth and other kids are like, don’t look at me, and it was just like kids fighting and it was just weird. She ruined their lives. Yeah. Okay. You were told about that. Yeah. Now, I was like, This is ridiculous. And the dads like hit their dad. Me were like, Sorry, dude. Like, sorry, man. What’s the point? Oh, what I was opening up I was like, man, what do I get? I even went as far wow, I want as far as texting Drew. It sounds really bad guys. But the Wonder Boys go to lunch. They’re like once a week or every other week. We call it L bro. Sarah, bro, Tom. And I always get what drew gets because it’s good. But I got that because I again, couldn’t make up my mind. But I was like, I want what he asked. So I text him to ask him what we got. He was like, Man, I don’t know. I don’t remember whenever I’m not there. So then took a little bit. Let me go back to my brain found. Tense your question? I don’t know. Yeah, I really don’t.

So when you go shopping? Are you going shopping looking for a particular something? Or are you kind of there to browse and see what jumps out at you?

I thought go shopping. Really, huh?

You don’t ever walk into Target or TJ Maxx or a men’s clothing store? Something like that? Yeah, I

mean, I have. And like, for instance, I wear suits all the time. So I go and I need a black suit. I need a black suit and a black suit. So I go straight to the black suit. That’s super easy, right? But if you sent me to a girl on a grocery run, I’m dead in the water. Really? All my gosh. Do I have a story? I went to Kroger one day to literally Megan was making juices.

We are not sponsored by crook not yet. But we would welcome that.

Meghan was making juices we go to wheat grass a lot. Shout out to Melissa we crass. We love getting those smoothies and whatever. And this particular day Meg is like hey, we’re gonna go and buy all this stuff. And we have this really nice juicer. We needed oranges and apples.

Literally, apples and oranges. The freaking

first thing you walk into at Kroger on the left in the produce section. I’m over in the milk area. I’m freaking out. I called her twice. And I’m literally walking in circles around the apples and oranges. I couldn’t find like this. Um, for those of you who are watching this on YouTube yet forward slash to try but I’m making a circle 15 minutes I swear I’m not exaggerating. I felt so stupid. Well that’s all you can say.

I don’t really know how to think about that. Is it that you were in your head and you weren’t seeing what was clear out there?

I was freaking out. Yeah, it’s really stupid. That

so there are two items of interest please take it we just kind of parsed that event a little bit. Okay. On the one hand there is the were you so distracted that you weren’t able to see the forest for the trees what was right in front of you. Secondly, remember

that part I just remember being in my own head that the more concerning issue is what about that made you so anxious? I have not a clue. I just remember Megan was laughing at me. And then the second time I called her she was mad at me which for rightfully so it’s right

there. Well, and it’s one of those. If, if you want it done right, do it yourself kind of things.

Yeah. I want to take a moment and just promote the ClickList which is absolutely incredible. You pull up to one of the six lanes you call the number and say what lane you’re in and then they bring it to your vehicle. For those of you who are like me, but I think I was just in my head. I think I have this idea this thing of like, I don’t remember that particular moment. I don’t know why it was so stupid. I think I just was flustered. I got flustered and then I was like freaking out about it. Now just are wandering around. I knew the oranges and apples weren’t that buy the milk? Why was I there? That’s where like the frozen pizzas are? I get it? See, I think I knew that. But I was like, What are you doing? Idiot? Like walk by the pots and pay like really? Yeah, they do have sushi. Now over there, like legit. Sushi. Oh, it’s good.

I get it all that it was actually very good. I get it and take it to work with me for lunch the next day, because it’s amazing. Wow. Well, anyway, that’s what I did. That’s concerning. I think we need maybe to have a little walkthrough tutorial. at Kroger. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Let’s do that. We might need to bring her our studio get up and podcast. Yeah, take this whole gear. I mean, that would look better. But it is bad. Have a trade in a grocery cart. Just walk around and have the extension cords like running 100% Dude, and have a

gaffer like letting it out? And then holy? Man, that’s a good idea.

I love that. Yeah, that’s concerning that well, okay, I’ve never used ClickList or anything like that from any retailer. I like the experience of actually parking, getting out and walking. Now, if I were a parent who had a couple of children, who were, you know, dangling off of me, or fighting or hungry or sleepy or had messy diapers are something, I totally get it. Like, there’s definitely a demographic for that. But for me, if I’m just going to stop by after work and running and get something for joy, because she said, Hey, while you’re out, I mean, I’m going to I’m going to stop, I’m going to go in and I’m going to find it. And part of that it’s going to get to make me proud that I was able to do that. I’ve

had redeemable moments. I do want to say, Yeah, you know, like going in and getting bores head, Turkey, sliced on one and a half and getting goofy, like appropriate, appropriate pounds. And, and then there was the time that they miss place one of our big orders for I think it was like Christmas or Thanksgiving, like we had this big order that we were going to get the day to day ahead. And they misplaced everything. They couldn’t find it. They didn’t know what was going on. I stay there and I solved the problem with them. And it was very nice. So we took care of it. And they gave us all kinds of free stuff for it. So I mean, there was that redeemable moment to this happened early on a few years ago whenever we had two little babies running around. So there’s my defense.

The last time I was in Kroger, an older woman came up to me and asked me if I was Luke Bryan.

And you said yes,

I did not. I said no, I was wearing a hat. It’s the third time it’s happened. It’s hilarious both times in the produce section. Not to be insensitive, but it was by the oranges. Okay, do you say orange or orange? Orange? I say Orange,

orange, you going to them all later.

So back to this decisiveness thing. How important is being decisive for people who are running businesses, leading management teams overseeing people, and people who are entrepreneurs in their own little shop? How important is being decisive?

It’s probably one of the things, having to be quick on your feet quick witted, and making those tough decisions is very important. And if you’re like this indecisive leader, you’re your business is definitely struggling.

Well, if you oversee people, those people are going to struggle to

could you imagine like, okay, let’s say the general manager of a Starbucks and they’re all the staff come up, like, what are we going to do day? No. No idea. Maybe make some coffee. Right, right. I mean, do you want to do it? I mean, if you don’t, it’s okay.

Think about that. A fire department, you know, an engine company alarm going off, you’re at a scene and the captain on scene is in charge unless there’s a battalion chief there or something. And the captain says, Okay, you do this, you do this? What if they’re like a cat? What do we do? And he’s like, uh, I don’t know, any volunteers to I mean, that’s just doesn’t work. Why do we accept that of ourselves in our businesses? If even if we’re not running Starbucks or a fire department? What? Why do we accept in decisiveness? What is it about us? It’s a lack of confidence, maybe a lack of experience, maybe a lack of

I don’t know that it’s lack of even experience. I literally think it’s the first thing you said.

I do think oh, and I do think that there are some people personality wise who are less adept at decision making. I mean decision Making is one of the kind of classic 15 Subscales of what makes emotional intelligence of someone you know, you have assertiveness and you have conflict utilization and you have relationship interpersonal relationship skills, communication, of that decision making is one massive and very important subscale for recognizing and being assessed for one’s own emotional intelligence. And so an emotionally intelligent person, person who maybe functions at a little bit of a higher degree of decision making is probably going to function a little bit higher degree across the board, especially in leadership positions. People who are not comfortable making decisions, delegating, assigning tasks to people not feeling like they have to apologize for that. But recognize this as why I’m here. This is what I do. I’m doing my job. People who don’t do that, I think tend to to suffer and maybe flail a little bit in their work.

There was a experience that we had, there was a fatality at a house, there was a house fire. The house literally exploded, and the only portions that remained were portions of walls inside and filled with no telling how many inches of water and you had the drywall was falling off and then the insulation was all it was all close and mushy. They the fire department, thank you to our our first responders. Owensboro Fire Department opens up a back gate for us to bring our removal vehicle. We back in and it was a white sheet same so you had the white sheets out because there was a deceased loved one out front. It looked like people were out for a block party. Oh yeah. People had their lawn chairs out people. He was probably two 300 strong. It was utter chaos for just the bystander. Kudos to RC Kaufman and his chief. Because you’re talking of the chief at a he he ran. He ran up to Chief he’s like what do we do now Chief had the whole scene under control. They led us into this murky house to remove the loved one. And it was just a very coordinated event. They had to keep the the bystanders at bay they had to keep the the deceased’s family at bay. I mean, could you imagine just the chaos, but you know, being decisive in moments such as utter tragedy? Yeah, is pretty incredible. So kudos to these two individuals, Chief and what do you call a firefighter? Do you call them fire fighter like right now you say officer or firefighter. You say firefighter coffin? Yes. Okay. So I’ll make sure I utilize that. And

then if they they get promoted to lieutenant and then captain and then maybe deputy or assistant chief or battalion chief, something like that. And then there’s one, Chief, right?

Yeah. So House does have to explode. Someone does not have to die for you to start practicing like exceptional, like being at being able to make those decisions,

those tough calls. When I was a firefighter, we had in that time only a couple of what would be considered a kind of mass casualty or command center required events where you know, a one and where I came from in the kind of Chesapeake Virginia Beach area, one alarm fire, it has a certain protocol. That’s two fire engines, one ladder truck and a battalion chief. That’s a one alarm a to alarm, it doubles for engines, two ladders to chiefs and then probably a couple of medics. Right, three alarm for alarm. So you’re talking about bringing in resources from all over your city. And then there’s something called Mutual Aid, where a neighboring city for us maybe come someone might come from Evansville or the county would come and assist the city for us. It was Portsmouth it was Norfolk it was there all Tidewater areas full of all these these large cities, we would have resources come in across those lines, and help with large events. And there would be a typically a battalion chief on site who would be the kind of command operator he’s in command and there’ll be a big board. And our helmets had magnets on the side with our firefighter number mine was 556. And so when you get when you get there, you walk up and the person tells you what you’re doing, you’re going to be on a line on the outside of the house streaming into the fire, you might be at a neighbor’s house trying to prevent radiation from burning that house. So you’re you’re hosing off neighboring houses or you might be on the debt gun, you might be in the ladder or you might be inside the board is divided up among all those tasks. And you walk up and the chief grabs the magnet off your helmet and throws it on the board and that says 556 is in on the hose and that means I’m in on the hose, like, that’s my job. That’s where I go. So when you have 2030 or more firefighters all on one scene, you have to know where they are, can always talk on the radio is clearly there’s a lot of chatter, you have your mask on, it’s hard to do. So that’s the way they keep in mind. Somebody is at the helm making those decisions. And there’s never a question. You never ask, Is that the right thing to do here? Or? I don’t believe I do that if I were you like, that’s, that’s not how that works. And it’s kind of a it’s a more of a, a military style, rank and file leadership structure. This is why in boot camp, I did not go in the military. I think if I had to do it all over again, I probably would. Just because I think that’s where you learn unbelievable discipline. But when someone says hit the deck, you hit the deck, no questions asked. And there’s a story about a boom, on a naval destroyer that got loose, and it swung, and someone had to hit the deck and all these, you know, sailors hit the deck and the boom swung by and nobody was injured. Had someone questioned the order, they would have been hit knocked into the ocean and ultimately would have killed them. Right. So it is a life or death situation when you get your order. You do it. And when you’re told what you’re going to do at that, at that scene, you do it. We are in a time where I think fewer and fewer people are comfortable. Accepting orders, as is. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it. Of course I have. What do you think about it? And what’s the cure? Go?

Right, I think frustrating. Yeah, what’s the cure? I don’t know that. I don’t know that. There is always rebuttal. Always. Always,

gosh, and it’s such a hard thing. Because you want people to have a voice. You want people to articulate their concern their questions to come with their ideas. But at the end of the day, there’s a decision that was made. Yes.

I need you to do this. And this and this and this. Well, no, right. Okay. Let me stop you there. Okay. That should be the response. Yeah. Okay. And I think I’m where I’m at. Because I said, Okay. I learned even if I didn’t agree with even if I didn’t think even if what they told me to do was wrong. When I say wrong, it’s it’s not my place. It’s not my it’s not my responsibility to say what’s right or wrong. In regards to my operation. Obviously, I’m saying within ethical, I’m not saying

yeah, your terms of daily tasks, correct task assign do it

do is you’re asked, you can question it internally all you want and how you would do it better. That’s great. But that’s you’re not at the place to make that decision yet. That’s why you say yes, do it. And then you earn the right, to get to the place to be able to make the decision for future. Yeah, that’s where it’s at.

So when you do have someone come in to your directive, and they question it, what is your personal style? And how to combat that?

More Stern? I interrupt. I’m an interrupter. I’m like, I don’t care. Just do it. It’s probably a little bit defensiveness. But it’s also because we have a job to do. Yes, I get it done. I’ll have time. And nobody got time for that. Right. You know, right. Like, I want you to say yes, I want you to prove to me that you’re going to do as told and then work your way up the ladder. Mm hmm. Because when you speak and give me an explanation, you actually fall lower on the totem pole. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, you can tell that’s the passion I get. Yeah, as we, in the 73rd episode of he’ll die trying just like how passionate I am, like, Just do as you’re told, Do, as you’re told.

Yeah, I want to make sure people know that they that there is a time and a place to be heard and to share their ideas. It’s just it’s not now and it’s not here. Right. And and I think that’s the responsibility of the speaker to come up with a more mature approach to that having a better time and a better place. It’s not a leaders job to, to, to have to come up with that. You know what, there’s another time and place for that. You figured that out, you bring it up there. And we do this with our kids all the time, you want to talk about it, talk about it, you need to talk about it in an appropriate time walking into a room, when there’s another conversation going on and splatting it out. That’s not a good time for that. So we’re not going to entertain that, like you have given. You have to learn how to interact with people and how to engage socially in socially appropriate ways. So I think if people haven’t learned that, and I think oftentimes, people haven’t, because they’ve been told that they’re special, and they’re the center of their parents universe, and they come to work thinking that that’s going to be true. And it’s really unhealthy to think that way about oneself. So, you’re important, and you’re loved, and you are unique, just like everybody else is important and loved and unique. There’s room for you in the way there’s room for all of us.

Thank you Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m Jonathan. This is your die trying